travis and i arguing... at some place to play a show... seems like a big high school... going into a practice room and i'm singing into the mic and the mic isn't working and i'm saying how travis doesn't care if i sound good or if anyone can hear me and he just fucks things up for me musically... and it seems like he is ignoring me and then being snarky...

and then i can notice he is turning into my brother...

and i am frantically trying to remember what songs we are going to play...

having to babysit and not knowing who i am supposed to babysit..either this asian kid with a mom who is very lax or kathy cook...my mom has bought a new house just for herself and i am in the house and there is nothing in it and one window in the dining room and i pen the window and all the other windows and the sun comes in very bright but doesn't light the whole room...

i am in my parents house in my room and kathy cook comes over and asks if i can babysit on friday for ryan and his friend and i say ok

then i accidentally go over there naked and i walk in and dan is also naked and telling ryan he looks good and ryan is a baby and they just look at me and i walk out

and then kathy cook comes out behind me and acts like everything is normal and says she is going to be going to therapy for a few hours on friday.

then in the practice room with joe mcarthy and ruby rose fox comes in and she is all upset... she eventually says "i got too aggressive" and i think i understand whats happening... i start talking about how hard it is once you start playing shows one after another and you just want to play the next show and keep going  but you have to stop... and you have all this pent up energy...

I get to the wemf radio station and it is a big municipal hall town hall type building and thee are lots of people outside and outside there are tables with lots of food on them. One table has all donuts and cakes and this thing that just looks like frosting in a cup. I take the frosting in the cup and start eating it but start to feel sick from all the sugar and realize there is some real food also. Something that looks like an eqq quiche in a long platter but looks maybe a little old and then Casey Desmond takes it and is scraping it out into the trash. Then a new egg and vegetable thing appears and I take some of that but it is divided by tortillas and I have to take several tortillas and put the on top of each other to get all the ingredients I want. There is a little kitchenettes when you go inside the building. I see cg there, coming in.

 There is some kind of goth looking girl sitting at one of the tables outside and I go and talk to he and it turns out she is a musician and needs help with something.

I go back in the building and I look. Up at the clock and its 1 o'clock and I realize I've missed the radio show I was coming to be on (at 11) and that I don't even know where the radio station is in the building.

I am in a room with Alvan. It is raining outside. It is raining outside the building and I decided it's ok that I haven't gone out. Alvan and I are in a long dark room. What are we talking about? Someone comes in. Someone comes in and sits down by the window and Alvan has them get up from where they're sitting. They leave the room. I am under a blanket. Then Travis comes in and is looking for his keys and Alvan has them and gives them to him. I become aware that I am under a blanket and naked and am wondering where is Frankas? And wondering if they can tell I am naked.

I am looking in a mirror and I have all these wrinkles I never had before,

(In real life I am naked under a blanket- is this part of waking up?)

Conscious vs. subconscious reality

(In real life I wake up at 12 and miss the wemf radio show with herb & Chris)

october 5 2016

i am some kind of japanese man and i get out of some situation like im leaving the matrix and i'm being real daring with buildings and laws... i am on a roof of this building and i kind of jump off the side and am hanging off and i am with a girl and the girl is britney spears. there is a window and i pull the window out cuz its on a hinge and slides out toward me but im hanging off the ledge and trying to swing in through the window and thinking i have to jump but knowing i might not be able to make it if i jump and i might die and realizing im dreaming and wondering if i will die even though im dreaming and not being sure and keep pushing off the building and swinging back- then i realize i can grab onto britney spears hair and pull myself in so i do.

before that go out to dinner or drinks with richard pryor but he is really half obama and mostly obama and im not quite sure what our relationship is but he gives me good advice and is very smooth.

this was the night before last.

Listening to NPR and somehow watching the younger sister from 7th heaven do a slow dance thru time where she is mostly naked and then she pulls a 'bulimic' version of herself out of somewhere and it's like a mesh sock of all her skin she shakes out and steps into

The NPR thing is with sons writer woman who wrote this and I am getting ready to return to where I just was

At the Hanover mall at some restaurant where people were getting together and alyssa Murphy was there and will was like a server or  had been there too and we finally said hi to each other

But I think frankas came over and kissed me or something was awkward and I left the mall and I looked in the mirror and my face was all puffed up and ugly looking and not my face

And I am in my room in norwell getting ready to go back there

At some highschool party with Lena Dunham abs Jenny in Lena dunhams room and drinking and I see anson and will through the window and figure anson mustave came all the way there in case I didn't have a boyfriend

Go in the kitchen and Curtis is there and gas his own table with a black tablecloth over it and kind of dark sculpture stuff like big balls all connected and all different alcohols, some kind if thing that looks like pink champagne but is lagerand he says he's leaving to go buy a bunch of coke

Christian Conway is there and jacki Maynard And a bunch of people are playing pool and I go by and Danny pye takes a picture of me and everyone

I am having trouble standing but I don't feel drunk at all

Lena is in her room and not drinking and seems concerned for me or the scenario

I am looking for will and trying not to fall because I keep slipping on stuff

may 18

Whitney Cummings has a treadmill where she attaches sensors to each of her fingers from the treadmill and she is doing a kind of bit where she has all the sensors on her fingers but she can't figure out how to turn on the treadmill

Then I am in her house and the lights are out and I am figuring out how to use the treadmill and she comes out of her room and is surprised to see me and I tell her you have to put all the sensors on and then turn the machine on and off for it to work and I say am I early because we are meeting at her house in an hour and shes says something like I like how you ask if you're early and she tries to tell us how she needs time to work on her art and stuff