I
with james leto in bed and making out and hes saying or im saying kissing is like a massage and just making out forever in my brothers room in bed (where im sleeping) and maybe having sex at some point and getting louder and im realizing were at my parents house...
                         
                                                                        II
go to this big auditorium with sid and sara silk is there and running some kind of program, its kind of like a pipe and drape job, setting up for something or taking things down, the room is mostly empty, and i am helping out and hoping we are gonna bond i guess but she is runniong around in charge of things and very cold to me and i dont know why... at some point there is a big piece of fabric on the ground and i pick it up and fold it and she tells me i did it wrong and this is the only thing she says to me... and sid notices and says something about it to me like she really doesnt like me and we are unwanted there... then whatever is going on is over and she walks behind a temporary wall and gabby 9what is her last name) from highschool (dark hair olive skin her dad was my soccer coach) is saying we are all celebrities and there are a bunch of girls i went to high school with there and they are all doing some kind of video / photo shoot together and sara silk is standing on a taqble or spomething at the top of the group that are all gathered around together in this box set, rose lombardo is there and im not sure who else and they are doing this video skit celebrating how they are all famous and i am just looking on and its like they dont even see me or acknowledge me... and me and sid walk away and i am thinking well maybe its just a video for soul cycle and then remembering sara silk didnt even go to high school with me and feeling v dejected

First meeting up with Jonathan in New York, we are going to some place like maybe an aquarium or something, someplace where the cafe outside has really great she'll macaroni and salad Jonathan says. We are taking the subway and when we go to get off there is a kind of hospital burlap fabric lip coming off the subway train which you are supposed to step on before you step on the platform outside and you can see how far up we are in between the fabric lip and the platform. I get petrified of the height and fall to the ground. Jonathan gingerly steps off the train. I have to crawl off on all fours and one we get on the platform I am leaning with my arms on the rail and not wearing glasses and realize if I pushed off I would fall all the way down, probably to my death. What is going on with the subways in New York?

We get down to the food court and there are already made cups of juice with alfalfa sprouts in them in a vertical row like flowers might be placed in a metal wire holder. We go to a table and I guess Jonathan has already been here and order the macaroni and salad and he gives me his leftovers.

Then I am meeting up with Sarah Lyle. She comes and meets me at the food court. I ask her about her marriage which I almost forget about since she is in New York. She says she's broken up with him so many times since they got married and says I never liked him anyway. I say I do like him. I ask her why I wasn't invited to the wedding and she gets quiet and upset about that. We talk about her family and remember all the time we spent in her house and where we slept. I see some video of Vanessa and she is a little girl still but there is a littler girl with brown hair and I don't know who she is, she's like a replacement character to the Lyle family like its the Cosby show when I'm watching it, and then a child version marykate Olsen interrupts with a hula hoop. They are all performing.

Sarah and I go on some kind of ride like a roller coaster and then are hanging out in some kind of outdoor pen and these guys come in humans but they are actually some kind of advance bird that acts and looks like a dumb human and they all drop out the other side of the pen like penguins after we say things to them and they act dumb.

We go to Laura garveys house and some other people from high school are there also and talking about how Laura is and how Laura's mom is cool I guess. Laura's mom comes home and changes in front of everyone, gets naked, but puts something else on and then is playing with the dog. I think we were talking about how uptight Laura is and her mom is totally different. I like her mom and we start playing together, she pours everyone white wine and we go in the pool, turn things into a party.

Then at alvans house and his house is a lux apartment all white. We are sitting on sofas talking and then Laura garveys mom shows up. Alvan says he doesn't have the wine. I guess every time Laura's mom shows up she pours white wine for everyone. She says she brought some and I say I will help her  get the glasses but I go to the bathroom first.

Marilyn Manson is at alvans house I guess and we end up in another room with him. He and I are really hitting it off and he is pretty into me. He starts hitting on me and wants to hook up right there. I am attracted to him but not hooking up with him. Sarah Lyle and maybe Katie baker are both there. They tell him that I have a boyfriend. He is very tall.