going around knowing will is in town... knowing hes at some school somewhere... first i am working or something... and im drunk and i know hes there at this place but i dont want to go late at night when im drunk but maybe im also trying to find it... feels like im walking around a grocery store...

being somewhere else and it starts to feel stupid because i know will is near by so i go to the building

when i go to the building i go up stairs and theres a big group of people in a classroom sitting down at desks and will is in the classroom and i guess they are all taking some kind of test...

and i go in and walk around and people know me and will sees me

and somehow in the background they are playing my music and whatever song it is is almost acapella and kind of strangely paced and i am wondering if it is musical enough , feeling slightly

self conscious

i go in the room and walk around but i dont sit down and take the test, i think i just see will and leave

and then i am downstairs in the building by a back door and looking through a window and i see will and his gf julia and she is wearing a red shirt that says radisson inn or something, some kind of inside joke t shirt that means shes staying there at a hotel ? or they are staying together maybe

and will is taking pictures of her on a phone and shes smiling  

go over to matt stearns house for some kind of family party , his mom comes in, she looks young, has a lot of glossy straight long brown hair, 80s cut, sunglasses pushed over bangs

in matts room i guess and our legs end up touching , we are kinda nervous around each other, performative but then at times end up close together when im not paying attention

we make juices in little tupperware containers

someone named ed we know from emf, stoic guy with glasses, asks jarva land to play a show so we go out to this barn like a big indoor riding arena and i feel like ive been there before and salty greyhound are there and theyve been there before like maybe its in littleton

at the barn show something happens like ive gotten drunk but im having trouble stan ding and walking like my feet are just falling apart, bending at the ankle and stopping working

im wearing platform heels and take them off but my feet still stop working, bending at the ankles

at some point me and matt start making out and almost have sex but dont (because i remember

i am looking around the barn for my tupperware juices and getting my stuff together, i guess everyone there knows me

END up in a pow wow circle with some girl with glasses and my mom and others- girl in glasses is talking about comics and asking me if i ever made any and i show her some drawings/ comics i have and she says ya but they're not consecutive, she says have you ever finished any story line arc ?

and for some reason i get really pissed kind of start talking loud, kind of going off on this girl and trying to think what other comics i've done and then i remember the trash can and fire hydrant comics i did in watertown and i bring that up but i dont have them on me.. and she says something, like she doesnt get that its a comic about a trash can and a fire hydrant on the sidewalk and they never move and the comic always takes place in the same spot

its an existential comic and she doesn't get it or something and i kind of go off on her and i dont recognize her or know who she is

With frankas and he is drunk and he gets arrested or I get arrested but we get out of it- I think I get arrested and then get away during it because it's a casual arrest and I leave during it and a wondering if it isn't better to just stay on the lamb- frankas is running around and drunk and I lose him somewhere, we are inside and outside of this big house that reminds me of glen and cindy's cookout- we make croissants with chocolate inside and they are very good me and frankas make them but then I lose him he runs off and I am in the house- somehow I know where he's gone and I go running through the town, it has just snowed and the snow is on the ground but very dry and it's warm out and I go running through the town with just my fathers running socks on and feeling good and warm and it's good running on the snow, I make it to the house and there's someone just coming into the house and I ask him if he lives there and can he let me in and he does and we open the door and frankas is inside with a bunch of people that I seem to know and they are having fun I think I tell them how I got arrested then we are all in a big basement type room and Karen is there and frankas is trying to kiss Karen in front of me but she won't let him but she's flirting with him and I am just thinking how terrible this is but i won't care

several weeks ago had a dream where will showed up drunk and apologetic. maybe we couldn't quite get through to one another. hair mussed.

I am asked to babysit for fat baby ryan, who looks about the same except his face is rounder and maybe he has a beard. i am in some kind of norwell region ghost land. I leave wherever I am to go babysit fat baby ryan. I get there and hug kathy and tell her how i miss her. the house is totally different, the kitchen is in the middle and the rest of the house is vey open and everything else just sort of stretches out around the center kitchen. dan comes in and is very nice to me but i feel almost as if hes flirting with me. he tries to kiss kathy at one point and she turns her head, saying shutdown, like she is trying to regain control in their relationship or they are playing games. they are going out to dinner. i notice that they both seem rounder in a way and wonder if they are "fat skinny people" and how that happens. i ask if i should make ryan something particular for dinner and they say i can just make whatever as if i will obviously concoct him some kind of tofu sandwich...i don't remember the rest of the night babysitting and after i leave i feel like i got drunk at the house and i hope i didnt do anything bad or leave anything out, i completely black it out but while still in the dream