may 17

Something like thanksgiving going on at my parents house but maybe it's Halloween I am going yo have my own party or go to my own party- my parents are having people over/ they come back with Kenny and Kathy and others - my mom is in the kitchen and says I'm not allowed to use the plates for one month because of how I was them ( and nothing is working out with my party plans ) and I say BITCH ASSHOLE and my dad is cooking turkey in the oven and he takes out the turkey and rubs it on me and I am screaming and saying how I hate them all and how he is only doing that because he knows it's wrong and how I love the turkey more than him because the turkey never did anything and I mean it

Fall back into it and I am in a room that is antonias room with a girl Kelsey Ellington who is her roomate but I think antonias last name is Ellington Antonia isn't there but nemo is. The girl is kind of like the girl painting the lizard down the street from blanc gallery - she us making jewelery and has all these jewelry pieces- I guess she is friends with nemo- I feel like we are in Allston- I am doing something and kicking around shoes from underneath antonias bed trying to make room- this is how I know it is her room

Sara Silk and I are sitting at a table with someone across the table, I think Kelsey. We have notebooks out and are working on a song we are supposed to have written. Sara Silk starts rapping and her rap is very fluid and good and I realize I've forgotten to write my rap, I start writing one ;

Yo, let me pour some gravy
Theres a few in the marines but theres a boatload in the navy

Before/ after this I am in Fortpoint area and it seems like a warehouse. I go to see John Cremona and there are other people there. He seems like he is going a little manic because of the attention of the community, its kind of like 300 summer with all the doors off and partially outside, a bit like a warehouse party in Charleston but still Fort Point, in one part there is a cement square open space between the buildings with painted murals on the walls. Glinda is there and they are both a bit on edge. I think of how the situation with my father would explain something and wonder why I don't tell them. John Cremona looks more and more like David Bowie and I wonder if he is David Bowie. He is supposed to perform for somebody like a critic or a small audience. We are in a room with a piano and some framed photos on the mantle of the piano, not quite John's studio and he grabs an electric guitar and kneels on the floor with his knees flat and his feet behind him. He shows us that he is superhuman or a musician because he starts to play this song and while he does his face goes back and forth between being covered in makeup and being normal, each time it goes back and forth a little different, clown makeup but different colorings, white with blue clown tears and then black. After this he goes around with Glinda and is giddy. On the stairs he is jumping around and acting kind of like a wild man. I am not doing much but silently being there/ supporting him, ready to defend him but no one really tries to attack him on anything even though I feel like maybe he is expecting it and its influencing his actions.

I am at our apartment on 7 price road and Kelsey comes over with some girl friends and Travis. She has a whole group of people and some kind of plan, maybe cocaine. Travis is there at the kitchen counter, and the whole apartment is different, more  like a trailer home in my room and the kitchen. Then I take Kelsey and one of the girls through the rest of the apartment and there is a back way sort of like eves or a basement and in that part of the house its all cement and theres a huge jacuzzi bath tub and then a couch with a litter box on it and litter and cat shit on the couch. Its like I forgot that it existed. Then Taylor Cleaves is there. She is wearing a pink top and I remember her being thin looking when I expected her to seem kind of weird and bloated.