going around knowing will is in town... knowing hes at some school somewhere... first i am working or something... and im drunk and i know hes there at this place but i dont want to go late at night when im drunk but maybe im also trying to find it... feels like im walking around a grocery store...

being somewhere else and it starts to feel stupid because i know will is near by so i go to the building

when i go to the building i go up stairs and theres a big group of people in a classroom sitting down at desks and will is in the classroom and i guess they are all taking some kind of test...

and i go in and walk around and people know me and will sees me

and somehow in the background they are playing my music and whatever song it is is almost acapella and kind of strangely paced and i am wondering if it is musical enough , feeling slightly

self conscious

i go in the room and walk around but i dont sit down and take the test, i think i just see will and leave

and then i am downstairs in the building by a back door and looking through a window and i see will and his gf julia and she is wearing a red shirt that says radisson inn or something, some kind of inside joke t shirt that means shes staying there at a hotel ? or they are staying together maybe

and will is taking pictures of her on a phone and shes smiling  

Singing songs like for a voice recital/ voice competition from a book for Vince who is playing the piano....

Before that at a buffet I've been to before where you eat salad last In the salad room. I am only eating salad. Tubs / bins of dressing...

Walk into the room and am kind of separated from Vince by a divider...annoyed at how the songs go/ how I sound... Sing Benny and the jets And some other Elton John, then am singing Manhattan by cat power, there must be a backing track because I come in late and know because I heAr her come In first.

Someone else is coming in and setttting up before I finish.

Right before I wake up- talking to Alyssa Richardson and Kathryn Tajiks about lacrosse, we are wearing all lacrosse gear and goggles and like we've gone through some kind of time zone change into lacrosse zone, like we stepped into a dugout in time and are now standing here about to play lacrosse I guess

Before that I am walking fast around in a circle like a kind of outdoor pavilion with lots of other people walking around it to and I am with Mariah Carey and we are singing all these Mariah Carey songs super loud and walking around in the circle

I am in an empty studio warehouse type thing, these big rooms in a basement and I guess they are supposed to be rooms at emf, I have boxes of all my stuff that I have to go through and move, I am starting to move the boxes when little soprano who used to be in scooter boi's rooms upstairs comes in. I guess these used to be his rooms, he has still been kicked out of the building but he has a key still and he comes in and starts talking about how there's all these rich kids here with rooms that never come and use them and people like him and me used our rooms....kind of complaining that he got kicked out and snooping around and asking questions and he won't leave...at first it's ok but then he won't leave and I have to go through all this stuff...and then a bunch of people come in with a cake and singing happy birthday, I forget exactly who, and I realize it's my birthday and this was why I was trying to get all the stuff put away and I get stressed out and am upset with little soprano.

I am at some kind of lesbian parade and maybe dressed like Amy wine house but there are other girls definitely dressed like amywinehouse and trying to impersonate her and sing like her but also crying and I'm not sure what I'm doing there or if I'm trying to sing like Amy wine house or if I'm just mourning her and hoping to see her- I leave the parade and go to this kind of sea side bar big open room and Jonathan is there and Lindsay and my psychiatric nurse Tara, Jonathan is talking about this Mexican place we love to go to in the city and we decide we will all go and we get there and there is some kind of new drink which is bright red and called something. That begins with an s and very strong. I am thinking whether I should get the new drink or a regular margarita. The new drink is on a pedestal in the bar and I guess Jonathan's goi g to get it. I am worried we will get the psychiatric nurse too drunk and I see her eyes crossing.

Before I find Jonathan or around the same time Mars Jupiter is there and we go to some upstairs outdoor beach bar and he is thinking we are going on a date or something and I have to leave to avoid him.

I am supposed to perform for something at out of the blue. It seems in a different place, like an outdoor library, and a different town. I feel unready to perform and don't remember performing. Will is there somehow. And Tom is there but different. Maybe it's supposed to be New York. Someone pulls me out of trying to help out inside the out of the blue I think? And tells me about knowing when to leave a place and how I should have left already, telling me how to conduct myself and move art-- it is mostly about being direct and getting out quick. When he pulls me out ( almost seems like Vince but not totally) he brings me over to his car by the side of the road and it's the car and the sidewalk here that makes it seem like New York in my dreams (how New York is in my dreams which is different than it is in real life) -Toms thing , maybe caroline Sullivan is there too, something seems townie about it, but also like a poetry gathering and maybe people are coming to see me, and maybe will is there. 

At the end of my dream I come out of a well. I have a seperate me who isn't me and is a young girl and then an alternate me who is a young boy learning to play the guitar. When we come out of the well the young boy who looks kind of like Ed starts playing a song on guitar and singing like he just came up with it after the journey through the well. The girl is sitting on the grass  watching him and so is Kathy Bates. Kathy Bates is a sort of mother figure. I remember her being in other dreams before. The end dream is like a movie where something supernatural-esque goes on and then they finally end up in a safe place at the end.

In the well there was a sort of arcade we had to go through.

After I wake up I go back to sleep-

I dream I'm going to work and I go to John Cremona's apartment. He has a ton of birds and different animals. His hair is longer and he seems younger and a bit more serious in a way. I am sitting there and at first we are talking and then he goes into the other room to do something. Eventually Glinda comes in in a hospitalish gown and is surprised to see me and looking for John. A nurse comes in and the apartment seems more like an office or a waiting room. I realize that I havent gone to work yet and that my lesson time isnt until 4 30. I go downstairs 

I dream I am around for whitey Bulger's trial- it is sort of like being
at camp. We are all sort of hanging out in this camp-yagoog like area like we live there. I think Devon is there. We are sort of waiting around and involved with whitey. I like him but I see him act sort of evil, I think he will take a liking to me though and I will be ok. He is wearing a t shirt with little squiggly cursive repetitive writing across it in a block formation, light blue. He is i9n the passenger side of a truck wearing a sort of trucker hat and thick dark glasses.

Yesterday I dreamed of the hill with the donkey inside the pen on the
side of the road in Williamsburg right as I was starting to fall asleep...and then the picnic tables there and the smell of hotdogs and pasta salad on a plastic plate. Later on I dream we are in a dark room on couches and under blankets watching a movie or something. Then the chorus line of thye little mice in the movie Babe comes into my head and I start singing it and then my Dad is on the other sofa and he starts singing the mice part too and he does a better job than I do, but its very pleasant.

I am at a restaurant with my Mom and Devon. She is singing a piece of music and her voice is beautiful. We talk about a woman named Eki who worked at the public library and wwho I can't remember at first which shocks Devon and my mom. I think we are in Charleston. Devon has too leave and she apologizes for singing so beautifully and for deciding to write a poem because she knowS I write poems. I tell her that its ok and that she sounds beautiful. My father is there at the table then.

I am living in a large mansion with different sections, a mansion I feel like I've been in in dreams before. I have moved into here from another apartment which was a mess. The ceilings in the bedroom are very low and there is one other room attached to it. From the bedroom I notice there is a swinging large door into a main part of the mansion and I go to look and accidentally swing the door and see a woman there. The door swings back again in my direction. Whoever is there is nice to me. I had forgotten that other people live in the mansion and no one seems to own it.

I see Tory on the street in Charleston but she sort of turns the other way. I wonder if she can't talk to me because Ricks isn't there anymore. I see Lily somewhere and she hugs me.

Later on I go to the upper deck (but not the upper deck) with Devon and her father. He seems to get drunk without drinking anything. He has glasses and whitish hair and doesn't remember telling me about the turtle in the front yard. Turtles come up somehow. Devon starts to seem like shes uncomfortable. When she has to leave we leave together and she is getting on a train and Ive handed her a bag of pot and for some reason she has my cellphone. Then she gets on the train and accidentally has my cellphone although she throws my pot back in the bag at the last minute.

I am at the upper deck working on something when Mr. Gray comes up to me and asks me where Devon is. I dont know and I try calling her number and Alecs but I can't get through to anyone.

I am in a large house like a mansion. First I am in my nomal house though. It is something like Thanksgiving. Anson is coming to my house and there is nothing I can do about it maybe and I am trying to keep it a secret from my parents. He will have to stay in the basement. I forget about this. Then lots of family starts showing up at the house and I am talking with relatives and getting white wine. Then the basement door starts banging around and busts open and out walks anson. he is balding and his head is shaved almost bald, he does not look so good. immediately i yell at my brother for locking him in the basement which i suddenly know he did. my mother is upset about the event but my dad just kind of jokes with me and says "well you know uncle gene wanted to bring his new girlfriend to spoleto" and then sort of doesthe rick joke-shrug at me. "what does that have to do with anything?" i say, but it makes me feel better that he isnt taking it as seriously.

ok, then i am in the mansiony house which is really really old and i live there with my family but mostly just my mom is there and nane is also there...then gramcracker is there! and i am like what the hey is going on. so i go to my mom aqnd im like i thought grammie was dead! and she is like yeah, well she is dead but she has this wierd sort of dead person alzheimers where she wakes up every now and again and acts like her old self and doesnt remember that she is dead. meanwhile nane is her old regular alzheimers self. grammy dances around and sings a teacup song and every little song she sings i try to sing too but i dont know the words and i dance around her while she sings them (this happens later tho at some sort of art show or exhibtion in a gymnasium/ auditorium) while we are still in the mansion house we walk over at some point to a bed (me mom nane and grammie) and on the bed are nane and grammies "dead" bodies, nane gets upset seeing grammie and also probably the dead bodies but grammie is really clueless. it is creepy though and i try to get everyone away from the dead bodies.

ok, and then i am at some sort of camp or something. something has gone wrong and we all have to sit underground in a hallway all day. it has to do with sharks. we get assigned to teams. maria is there and maybe we are in college. mr. devine seems t be the leader of sorts. we are waiting to get let out of the hallway. my team ends up going into a classroom filled with water in which there is a shark and something happens with the shark trying to bite us and we are all on some sort of raft or something together and we go around the classroom in circles with the shark snapping at us but no one gets bit. i believe because no one from the team gets bit we are then allowed to go home. it seems like maria and i are in charleston and it is a weekend night and we are trying to go out.

i am with some group being led by a woman, i think maybe it is all girls. first we are having an art show and all my artwork comes out shitty and has the worst spot in the show and no one buys any of it. i start to feel really bad. then we are having a singing recital and i don't get any solos and all my songs suck. i'm not sure when i start crying but i do. then during the recital i am trying to sing my one part in the chorus and i've lost the pages and can't remember the words. i feel like a failure at everything and am real upset and no one else is. what a sad dream i've had!

some black dude with short dreads is singing an incubus song into my face and when i look up his outfit matches the rocks.