chris lauren michelle bOat

with chris laurena and michelle and there is tension and chris is not like himself normally or he is critical and michelle is yelling and lauren is kind of swaying in and out

and we are all on a boat im in one corner with michelle across from me and lauren is next to me and chris is to the left of michelle and michelle is saying things

and it is like the boat is dropping stories like the tower of terror, like levels of something are being broken through and the feeling of being nearly thrown out of the boat at all times

but it stops and somewhere we get off the boat and we are somewhere else maybe like italy

and lauren keeps touching me and then she is touching my face and i need to get away

dream 3rd night back from italy

i dream i am watching my father and his brothers as young boys on a home video tape. there is a little girl too which i think is his sister but she couldnt be that young then and maybe is another girl. i can tell who they are by their faces. uncle kenny looks just like himself. my father looks a lot like my brother. he is throwing a sort of tantrum. something has happened and he is upset about it and inconsolable. no one else is. i think this somehow helps me understand my brother. i don’t remember exactly what was happening.

dream 2nd night back from italy (order out of context)

i am on a trip with my parents. i have bought a fish and somewhere i have gotten a large bird who sits on my shoulder and also a duck. i remember ive forgotten to feed them. we drive to the hotel where we have always stayed. i have a friend with me. i think maybe it is alex. my brother is there. when we get to the hotel we pass an aquarium and i think ill get worms to feed the birds there. my father drives onto the sidewalk and down the steps. at one point he careens off a staircase and i fall out of the backseat and fall onto a step where the ledge gets steeper and i almost fall off. half my belonging land on the step behind me and i have to stradle in between to get them but i am shaking and losing my balance. i start to cry. ken and kathy are there then and ken collects my things for me and makes aq comment. everyone thinks im a wussy for crying. when we get to the hotel we go to a movie. we are here for a family reunion which is in my parents backyard on south street and all my friends are there. chanel is sitting by the old climbing tree and she beckons me over to talk to her. i say ill be there in a minute and maria and someone else sit down next to her and start singing out of tune. i go to get a drink and end up going back to the hotel. i start to feel drunk. at the hotel i am in the bathroom and anson is there. we talk about how he and my brother get alo0ng and he goes into the other room and starts talking to erik. he says i can hear in your voice how we are alike with our anger or something but its not anger and then my brother replies that its something that begins with a b. then they get in some sort of argument. i think my parents like anson. i keep checking the bird on my shoulder to see if its still alive. i still havent fed it and realize its been four days. sometimes i forget it is on my shoulder but it is always on my shoulder.

we are in italy on the writing trip and we each have a murder mystery to solve but i'm not sure if its real or an excersize. we each have a set of suspects and victims from which to research and resolve the situation. i haven't done mine or have done it wrong. i don't really understand it. ed is sitting next to me on a plane or something and i'm pretending to sleep/ am sleeping and he touches my legs. then he is carrying me around by the legs and i am resting my hands on his shoulders. someone says that only the people who did the project right are getting called to read them or are having theirs read or something.

we are traveling italy by sea. we are somewhere and ancona is far away but no ships go there and you can only go by swimming. i am with another girl around my age and we are swimming. we start swimming toward acona in the middle of the night and i do not want to go. i would rather go during the day but we cant turn around. i think there is a shark. there is some kind of animal with a large fin rising out of the water. we also see dolphins.