last saturday

last saturday ( a week ago) - sara silk came over to emf and we were meeting up for the first time in a long time and she brought gifts for me and hugged me and was very warm...

an animal came out of the parking lot facing door of the emf building... at first startled and thinking it is a rat...it is all white...turns out it is a rabbit...and a 'domesticated' type rabbit in a way... it follows us around and when we yell "mr. rabbit" he comes or does what we tell him to do... he has one floppy ear... i want him to be real

(IRL on this day coriander comes over to emf and brings me gifts of skincare and stolen lip stain from wholefoods and we start filming our new talk show be. on. say.)

There is some comedy kind of poker night I am a part of and some moley looking guy and also nick from rps act and josh Davis and his girlfriend are there, it is like a vfw hall somewhere. Rp is there at some point kind of fight/playing with nick and I feel like I realize how dark their relationship is

Something has happened to curt Jarva one week ago and he confesses to me he hasn't slept with my mother in a week? He doesn't say this exactly he says something more like ' he's been letting down the family'.... But I know what he means by this somehow, I think I am relating it to me and frankas and the idea of our sexual togetherness, I feel I am aware of this in the dream but not positive

I am sitting at the head of the table on the bear to the camera side of things and the opposite head of the table across from me

We are playing some kind of game or doing some kind of improv performance, Rachel haven josh Davis's girlfriend has some kind of interaction with one of the comedians which I interpret as a misunderstanding 

We are outside in the parking lot and she is saying how she knows she was right about that guy and what she did and everything, how she acted, she didn't let him get away with something...

I am saying we all need to hang out again, but not sure if I wanted to be there in the first place and where I'm going, why I came and what my role is... I am not sure

The parking lot is dark and wet and it feels like summer like I am thin and have shorts on and a shirt over my head,

Reminiscent of one night in charleston where we walked around in the rain and drew on our legs and I had long dark hair with Alex Johnson 

I have my moms car or a car, it feels like summer. I drive to the grocery store on the way somewhere else and when I go in I realize the grocery store is in Canada and I know they are going to check my bag. Maybe the grocery store is in a mall but the parking lot is bright and sunny and open and the area all around is beautiful and full of nature. Maybe I am trying to buy fish? I become aware I have some nips in my bag and pot but once you go in the store u can't leave without them checking your bags and I know this. They ask me to go have my bag checked as I'm leaving and the guy tells me to give me the pot he knows I have and I give him my grinder with the buts of glass glued on top. He asks what it is and I tell him it's the marajuana and he looks in it and there is pot in there so he's happy with it. I have more pot in my bag and have given him the grinder instead of the other pot which is the prerogative in the dream I guess (to keep the pot) (bc I don't know where I am?)  I am glad it was a dream decision// Lindsay is around somewhere, maybe there are animals

Dreamed there is a new system where you have to press 2 after the area code when making a call (781) 2- some woman chuckling at me for not realizing this when I am trying to make a call

I am at something like the Kentucky Derby, I think it is an indoor arena and we are on a flat sort of plateaued section where there are dining tables. I'm here with John Maccallum's "brother" "Jimmy", John's real life brother Neil is also at the table. I have met Jimmy somehow outside of John being there and we are sort of on a date. He shows me how we are going to eat the shrimp with oatmeal. We are all going to have shrimp iin a bowl with either oatmeal or something richer and milkier. This is a big part of the event we are at. This seems to be a rich person kind of event. Alex Wilson is there. People seem to be just roaming around the stadium going from section to section. When John arrives he comes to the table and sees me sitting next to Jimmy and makes that half-suprised/ dissaproving face and sits down across from us. I guess maybe we are in New York. Jimmy seems very smooth and manipulative. I'm not sure why/if/how much I am into him.

At some other time I think Ricky is with me and we are going around moving or around south boston.

When I'm in the stadium there are a few people working there as waiters and servers and I know some of them. They are mostly kids around my age. There is one guy who is black and seems familiar but I can't quite place him. He seems like someone else. I think I am trying to smoke a joint or roll a joint inside the stadium and for some reason I'm doing it semi in secret away from the table. I go into the bathroom or something and come out with the joint and am trying to smoke it by the balcony but its loose and falling apart. One of the waiter people asks me for a hit and I am suprised he knows it is a joint. I remember talking to Alex Wilson and he was wearing suspenders.

When I leave the stadium I see the black guy waiter person and for some reason I don't remember that I know him and then he comes up to me and starts talking to me and I remember who he is. I think maybe I am smoking a joint then and he asks for a hit and I know that he knows its a joint because he doesn't smoke tobacco...He starts talking about how he fucked Cindy something in a little alley right near us (maybe he reminds me of Anson?) He talks about how he wants to fuck every girl he can because its sort of like tagging them and then you have that connection and either they'll help you later on or they won't but either way you fucked them so you own them a little bit and its like growing your wealth in a way, and I say I think there are some women who probably think like that too. His ideas about this are pretty offensive I guess but he is pleasant and mild and isn't trying to sleep with me so we just sort of sit there and talk and its nice. We are on a block of cement steps with hand rails in the middle of an empty parking lot and the street right in front of us is pretty deserted and looks sort of like Roxaboxen and then to the right there is what looks like the end of King street or King and Spring maybe but theres no one on the street and no one else comes out of the stadium.

My mom comes into the scene then and I think the waiter guy comes with us and some other people and we all go to Cole School with my Mom who I guess works there. I am struck by how it smells exactly the same and how I remember the smell. The walls are all salmony-pink and I am smelling them. I really need to use a bathroom and I start going from room to room looking for one. In lots of the rooms there are toilets cemented to the floors in the middle of the rooms but somehow I know or decide these aren't usable even though they are toilets. My mom is scooting around the rooms on what looks like and empty roll of masking tape. She puts one foot on the masking tape and then there is a long handle that comes up and she pushes off with her other foot and I guess this is what she does while she is working. She takes me to the bathroom which is dark like all the rooms because the school is closed. There are three little toilets all with a little piece of toilet paper in them.

When I wake up I realize I really have to pee.

Uncle Andy, Erik, Mom, Dad and me are all living in one house...there may be more family living there as well but I'[m not sure. Uncle Andy is living with us because he and Carol have split up...it also seems like she has died perhaps or been very cruel to Andy. Uncle Andy and Erik both feel like its a little below them to be living in the house with the rest of us and they decide to run for a position in the local election. Then everyone goes to sleep and I am the only one awake for a long time. While they are sleeping I also run for election and by the time they wake up the voting has already happened and I have been elected as an official. They are only slightly put off and I don't care because they are both very self-serving in their attitudes at this point in the dream...I think I may have ran purely to stop them from being elected and/or to show them that the public does not support their attitudes...also just to see what would happen...also because I felt they underestimated me.

Then me, my mom and Uncle Andy are driving in a car. Andy is upset about Carol- I don't know why I feel like she's died but I know they have split up and perhaps she has both the girls on her side and Uncle Andy is not allowed to see them- We are driving in a parking lot and making jokes and Andy, who is very sad, seems to cheer up a little bit...but then we see Carol and Leslie I think walking through the parking lot. I am sitting in the front seat and try to block them from Andy's view with my head but it doesn't work. Andy asks us to pull over so we do. We get out of the car and are standing on a wood-slat dock of sorts over a creek. Uncle Andy gets out of the car and starts crying. My mom disappears at this point and the car starts to slide over into the water...Uncle Andy tries to keep the car from going in and at first it is sort of funny (the parking lot seems like the parking lot outside of Leslie and Erin's highschool in Marblehead) but then Andy falls into the water. I am standing on the wood dock trying to pull him out of the water but he keeps slipping.

I dream that Ricky texts me "let me take you out tonight?" I imagine that I text him back "No. Let me take you out."