December 11th 2015

Francesca Antonia

A big warehouse type space where everyone from emf and beyond is there doing something

Perez Ricardo wants to know why I'm nice to him and why I treat him he way I do- I hear him talking to me from behind and I know he is pushing a shopping cart

Terence is here too there is some kind of comedy fight going on, someone has changed the tile in one of the big rooms of the wArehouse and I notice

Dave trees art is there

I have a car and Francesca villa comes in during the comedy fight and dissolves it somehow she gets in my car and I am giving her a ride before that she is sitting next to me and I ask her if she went to Antonia's wine party and she said no in her way it was ok she was watching some kangaroo show which I somehow know is a cartoon

We get in the car and i tell her it's ok even if she doubts me I feel I will prove myself to her eventually and am going to tell her about being the third and oldest villa to my surprise but see maybe she is about to cry and then she gets out of the car

Someone takes my car and iam looking around for it and upset, something has changed once the warehouse is outside

Before this I go to Sara silk and Lisa barons apartment and have a glass of wine and they are doing something there having some kind of party or something very glad I came and interested in me but the party is wrapping up too and I leave

When I lose the car I also lose a motorcycle I had somehow and iam walking around the outside warehouse area and I hear jonand kaz and people and then I see Jon and some people I the hallway and give him a long hug, I don't know what they are doing,no kaz, then I walk outside and I see kaz by the side of a building

i go to sleep in the tank

in my dream frankas has let ruby rose fox and some guy into his room to take a shower while i am in the tank and i come to find out and am upset mostly at the prospect that he has seen them naked and then i am out in the hall outside his door and i think i am talking to karen for a while but i don't remember our conversation

Over the weekend I slept at Ryans and dreamed there was a door in his room that went to the bathroom so i wouldn't have to goout in the hall.

I am at something like the Kentucky Derby, I think it is an indoor arena and we are on a flat sort of plateaued section where there are dining tables. I'm here with John Maccallum's "brother" "Jimmy", John's real life brother Neil is also at the table. I have met Jimmy somehow outside of John being there and we are sort of on a date. He shows me how we are going to eat the shrimp with oatmeal. We are all going to have shrimp iin a bowl with either oatmeal or something richer and milkier. This is a big part of the event we are at. This seems to be a rich person kind of event. Alex Wilson is there. People seem to be just roaming around the stadium going from section to section. When John arrives he comes to the table and sees me sitting next to Jimmy and makes that half-suprised/ dissaproving face and sits down across from us. I guess maybe we are in New York. Jimmy seems very smooth and manipulative. I'm not sure why/if/how much I am into him.

At some other time I think Ricky is with me and we are going around moving or around south boston.

When I'm in the stadium there are a few people working there as waiters and servers and I know some of them. They are mostly kids around my age. There is one guy who is black and seems familiar but I can't quite place him. He seems like someone else. I think I am trying to smoke a joint or roll a joint inside the stadium and for some reason I'm doing it semi in secret away from the table. I go into the bathroom or something and come out with the joint and am trying to smoke it by the balcony but its loose and falling apart. One of the waiter people asks me for a hit and I am suprised he knows it is a joint. I remember talking to Alex Wilson and he was wearing suspenders.

When I leave the stadium I see the black guy waiter person and for some reason I don't remember that I know him and then he comes up to me and starts talking to me and I remember who he is. I think maybe I am smoking a joint then and he asks for a hit and I know that he knows its a joint because he doesn't smoke tobacco...He starts talking about how he fucked Cindy something in a little alley right near us (maybe he reminds me of Anson?) He talks about how he wants to fuck every girl he can because its sort of like tagging them and then you have that connection and either they'll help you later on or they won't but either way you fucked them so you own them a little bit and its like growing your wealth in a way, and I say I think there are some women who probably think like that too. His ideas about this are pretty offensive I guess but he is pleasant and mild and isn't trying to sleep with me so we just sort of sit there and talk and its nice. We are on a block of cement steps with hand rails in the middle of an empty parking lot and the street right in front of us is pretty deserted and looks sort of like Roxaboxen and then to the right there is what looks like the end of King street or King and Spring maybe but theres no one on the street and no one else comes out of the stadium.

My mom comes into the scene then and I think the waiter guy comes with us and some other people and we all go to Cole School with my Mom who I guess works there. I am struck by how it smells exactly the same and how I remember the smell. The walls are all salmony-pink and I am smelling them. I really need to use a bathroom and I start going from room to room looking for one. In lots of the rooms there are toilets cemented to the floors in the middle of the rooms but somehow I know or decide these aren't usable even though they are toilets. My mom is scooting around the rooms on what looks like and empty roll of masking tape. She puts one foot on the masking tape and then there is a long handle that comes up and she pushes off with her other foot and I guess this is what she does while she is working. She takes me to the bathroom which is dark like all the rooms because the school is closed. There are three little toilets all with a little piece of toilet paper in them.

When I wake up I realize I really have to pee.

I am in a large house like a mansion. First I am in my nomal house though. It is something like Thanksgiving. Anson is coming to my house and there is nothing I can do about it maybe and I am trying to keep it a secret from my parents. He will have to stay in the basement. I forget about this. Then lots of family starts showing up at the house and I am talking with relatives and getting white wine. Then the basement door starts banging around and busts open and out walks anson. he is balding and his head is shaved almost bald, he does not look so good. immediately i yell at my brother for locking him in the basement which i suddenly know he did. my mother is upset about the event but my dad just kind of jokes with me and says "well you know uncle gene wanted to bring his new girlfriend to spoleto" and then sort of doesthe rick joke-shrug at me. "what does that have to do with anything?" i say, but it makes me feel better that he isnt taking it as seriously.

ok, then i am in the mansiony house which is really really old and i live there with my family but mostly just my mom is there and nane is also there...then gramcracker is there! and i am like what the hey is going on. so i go to my mom aqnd im like i thought grammie was dead! and she is like yeah, well she is dead but she has this wierd sort of dead person alzheimers where she wakes up every now and again and acts like her old self and doesnt remember that she is dead. meanwhile nane is her old regular alzheimers self. grammy dances around and sings a teacup song and every little song she sings i try to sing too but i dont know the words and i dance around her while she sings them (this happens later tho at some sort of art show or exhibtion in a gymnasium/ auditorium) while we are still in the mansion house we walk over at some point to a bed (me mom nane and grammie) and on the bed are nane and grammies "dead" bodies, nane gets upset seeing grammie and also probably the dead bodies but grammie is really clueless. it is creepy though and i try to get everyone away from the dead bodies.

ok, and then i am at some sort of camp or something. something has gone wrong and we all have to sit underground in a hallway all day. it has to do with sharks. we get assigned to teams. maria is there and maybe we are in college. mr. devine seems t be the leader of sorts. we are waiting to get let out of the hallway. my team ends up going into a classroom filled with water in which there is a shark and something happens with the shark trying to bite us and we are all on some sort of raft or something together and we go around the classroom in circles with the shark snapping at us but no one gets bit. i believe because no one from the team gets bit we are then allowed to go home. it seems like maria and i are in charleston and it is a weekend night and we are trying to go out.

i dream i've overslept until 11 and missed class. i start dancing to 20s music in a hallway, tell grant the waves are different. i start wheezing because i smoke so much.