may 15, 16

Yesterday- I am with Jenny talking and she tells me she's worried she might be pregnant bc she had sex one time in the last month or so and I ask her with who? And she tells me FRANK and I am reeling and can't believe it and can't understand why she would think of it so casually and we go to a party and frankas is there and I am completely verclempt and having that awful conspiracy come to life feeling nauseous

Last night- going to some kind of anniversary memorial for willow gray, in thus big old church, watch mr. Gray come in and he is very tall and looking good and put together and everyone is there, Devon and my parents and the cechinis. After the service I am going to get coffee bc I know I need to bring coffee to the house after- first j get a small coffee by mistake and then a whole box of coffee and keep the small coffee and bring the big box of coffee to what I guess is supposed to be mrs cecchinis house but it's not, auntie Annie is there on the couch and there are some small dogs. I am there with Devon. Then we leave and go over to her place and lilys mother is there in her house which is different than her real house, kind of right up on the street with the door on the sidewalk

And the door opens and we see her inside - lily and Devon are on weird terms- Devon is kind of living in the attic of the house and I go up there with her to sleep with her in the bed up there- she is saying how whenever she wears this one scent everyone comes up to her...

Then me and frankas have gone to my parents house and we have a tent set up in the yard and there is a small shed in the middle of the yard with screens on the sides and monkeys in it. There are several dogs at my parents and we start kicking balls with them and then all these other dogs come over from the actons- Keith pierce is in a box setup kind of a stage but more so a box wrapped in tissue paper with his head sticking out over the top and he is singing and plating guitar- William Duddy is there too in the other corner of the back yard- I guess we are all doing creative endeavors at my parents house or trying to make money... I am trying to find my notebook to write down my dreams...there is a picnic table on the right side of my parents house, frankas comes out and yells at me that he has been waiting for me to play music in the basement (then I hear ' folks' in real life and he is trying to get me up but not mad so I get up, relieved)

I am at a restaurant with my Mom and Devon. She is singing a piece of music and her voice is beautiful. We talk about a woman named Eki who worked at the public library and wwho I can't remember at first which shocks Devon and my mom. I think we are in Charleston. Devon has too leave and she apologizes for singing so beautifully and for deciding to write a poem because she knowS I write poems. I tell her that its ok and that she sounds beautiful. My father is there at the table then.

I am living in a large mansion with different sections, a mansion I feel like I've been in in dreams before. I have moved into here from another apartment which was a mess. The ceilings in the bedroom are very low and there is one other room attached to it. From the bedroom I notice there is a swinging large door into a main part of the mansion and I go to look and accidentally swing the door and see a woman there. The door swings back again in my direction. Whoever is there is nice to me. I had forgotten that other people live in the mansion and no one seems to own it.

I see Tory on the street in Charleston but she sort of turns the other way. I wonder if she can't talk to me because Ricks isn't there anymore. I see Lily somewhere and she hugs me.

Later on I go to the upper deck (but not the upper deck) with Devon and her father. He seems to get drunk without drinking anything. He has glasses and whitish hair and doesn't remember telling me about the turtle in the front yard. Turtles come up somehow. Devon starts to seem like shes uncomfortable. When she has to leave we leave together and she is getting on a train and Ive handed her a bag of pot and for some reason she has my cellphone. Then she gets on the train and accidentally has my cellphone although she throws my pot back in the bag at the last minute.

I am at the upper deck working on something when Mr. Gray comes up to me and asks me where Devon is. I dont know and I try calling her number and Alecs but I can't get through to anyone.