in a foreign country , somewhere like amsterdam, on a bus, like i took a ship , got there somehow, but running out of money and worried abut running out of pot vaporizer pen

and then somewhere and expected to perform and unloading somehow but i dont have a car, getting ready to perform at the venue, wondering when i will run out of money

why im not worried, what will i do, how i got there 

GO TO WORK at some event for pro event and chris canfield is there and he has long hair and hes kind of bigger but still v attractive and i came there with someone else and im not actually doing any work

my body feels heavy and hard to move throughout

we're in a dark upstairs room at some place and the event is like a show or wrestling or something  v low rent speakeasy type thing and no stagehands are actually needed for anything

there is a long booth connected to the wall on one side and we are over there and i touch chris leg and he kind of touches me v casual v wordless

but someone else is there maybe anthony and i overhear him saying chris and his gf broke up

i tell my friend he lives in upton and chris looks over at me then and says something (even tho in real life he doesnt live in upton...lars does... he lives in haverhill)

i get his phone number and we text

                                                                         ***\

then i am at the merritts and i guess harry lives in a trailer in the back yard, we are at the merritts house in norwell , sephie is there and parker is still very little

but he has a bald spot right on the back of his head, big poofy hair but a hole in the middle where i can see his scalp which is very red, he is brushing something when i notice

they are talking about smoking pot as i am leaving but its in harrys trailer and a metal pipe made out of real pipes and i am leaving

                                                                      ***

i am trying to meet up with chris somehow but there is so much going on and my body is so hard to work with

start traveling to this mcdonalds where when we get there you go inside and get to where the mcdonalds is and then you have to free fall down a stair case with no stairs to get to the mcdonalds and its scary and your whole body feels like jello, it doesnt hurt exactly, but is almost worse than hurting

helen and kate are working at the mcdonalds and talking about how it feels to be hired finally like they were working there freelance
                                     
                                                                         ***
im\at my parents house and erik is there and im starting to get sick and i know i am going to get really sick its a throat thing and its bad cuz i cant get erik sick

I have my moms car or a car, it feels like summer. I drive to the grocery store on the way somewhere else and when I go in I realize the grocery store is in Canada and I know they are going to check my bag. Maybe the grocery store is in a mall but the parking lot is bright and sunny and open and the area all around is beautiful and full of nature. Maybe I am trying to buy fish? I become aware I have some nips in my bag and pot but once you go in the store u can't leave without them checking your bags and I know this. They ask me to go have my bag checked as I'm leaving and the guy tells me to give me the pot he knows I have and I give him my grinder with the buts of glass glued on top. He asks what it is and I tell him it's the marajuana and he looks in it and there is pot in there so he's happy with it. I have more pot in my bag and have given him the grinder instead of the other pot which is the prerogative in the dream I guess (to keep the pot) (bc I don't know where I am?)  I am glad it was a dream decision// Lindsay is around somewhere, maybe there are animals

Dreamed there is a new system where you have to press 2 after the area code when making a call (781) 2- some woman chuckling at me for not realizing this when I am trying to make a call

I am trying to get someone to go to New York with me. I am living in Norwell with my parents it seems like but I have the mini-van. I get Monica to say she is going with me but then something happens and she gets weird about it or she won't come for some reason...maybe something to do with pot. Lindsay is around at some point too but she can't go to New York...

I think I end up taking a bus and I show up in New York and its different, its that weird street that is kind of like the NYU dining halls, a combo of that and the weird stretch between Harvard square and central where they6 have the restaurants you can see through the windows and kind of look like a strip mall and there's the weird square type cement step thing behind it. Its night when I get there and I go up or down an escalator.
I turn up and walk out through a series of parking garages and end up in a mall. I am carrying things with me, something heavy.

I find Jonathan and we leave and are walking I think but it feels like a car. We are talking and I am worried about him and happy to be in New York. I ask him who his best friend is and he can't answer. He says he goes over Tyler's often and makes a remark about his apartment and how gaudy it is, as if it is all gold-plated but very small (reminds me of the discussion on Psy and the subtext of Gangam style). We are in his apartment, it doesn't feel like New York. I drop my bags there.

I am riding in the back seat of a car with Sarah Lyle, unsure where we're going but we've missed something then realize we are both hungry then realize Uncle Gene is driving the car and little Ken is in the passenger seat and we are driving to a bar where my father is going to meet us. Ken is talking about how he is going to get sauced with my father. On the way there we look out the windows and its all country side. I see what looks like a black and white pig on a leash.

Before this I am trying to meet Rob Potylo and I talk to him on the phone about meeting at his house. I go to his house and its all people that Rachael knows and they all don't talk to me and act like they hate me and don't want me to smoke their pot and Justin #1 is there and I try to get Rachael to come over and help me. I am nervous to meet  Rob and looking for him in the dream, knowing its a dream and he might look different but I don't see him or feel him in there, that I remember.

I am with Rob and then with John Cremona and Glinda. Pierce is there too. It is something like a fair. We are buying pot and then smoking pot. John smokes pot with Rob but Glinda doesn't. We are all going somewhere or doing something. It seems like a delicate situation but innocent. At some point we are in a car and then later in a room.

i have a dream inside my dream or something of will wearing a ridiculous outfit. i am at a party with andrea mcgrath and we areupstairs in what looks like my brothers room but is supposed to be nathan morena's room, it is the three of us and some other kid with an afro? i think. me and andrea are sitting on the bed, there are more people downstairs. nathan morena and his friend are doing drugs. i just want to smoke pot but it seems like no one is going to smoke pot. i have my vyvanse prescription and only two pills left and im not trying to take them but somehow the last one gets wet and splits apart (maybe this is because of guilt over nanny having too many pills at once?) so i have to rol it up with rolling papers. i dont want them to see because they are doing so many drugs. i get a little bit fucked up but not as much as nathan and his friend who are makin g me very uncomfortable. andrea mcgrath just keeps laughing. finally i get downstairs and see a girl next to the counter who looks like beth except her eyes are like red exes but then she says my name and it really is beth. i am very relieved. shortly after that lindsay comes in and the three of us are going to go outside and smoke pot but THEN from the other corner of the kitchen wall walks over and he is wearing the outfit i dreamed of him wearing which is ridiculous, sortof like a bee costume with a striped shirt and bowtie and short shorts and then really big elfish banana yellow shoes. i go with him into a garage area where there is a line of desks and computers or something like that? hes either trying to show me something or we are trying to get it on. afterwards we leave and go somewhere else or its been a really long time and i feel bad for not returning to beth and lindsay.


i also dream at some point there is some cauliflower like root growing out of my stomach. i pinch part of it off.