FROM THE PAST WEEK

SEE HOWARD STERN IN A ALMOST MINIVAN SIZE JEEP WITH A BIG BIRD HEAD IN IT AND DRUMS, AN OPEN BACK AREA AND I CAN SEE THROUGH THE WINDOWS ALL THIS COSTUME /PROP STUFF LIKE DISGUISES FOR HOWARD I GUESS AND HE IS SLUMPED DOWN IN THE PASSENGER SEAT AND BETH O IS DRIVING THE CAR AND I AM REMEMBERING KKK TELLING ME THIS IS HOW HE GETS AROUND OR THAT HE WEARS DISGUISES AND THIS IS IN CAMBRIDGE NEAR HARVARD SQUARE

THANKSGIVING HAPPENS AT OUR HOUSE AND KEITH IS THERE AND BRANDON IS A BABAY AND THERE ARE ALL THESE PUPPIES LIKE LITTLE GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPIES... THEN THANKSGIVING IS OVER AND MY ASIAN LADY THERAPIST IS LIVING IN THE HOUSE AND SHE HAS TWO CHILDREN THAT SEEM LIKE STRANGERS TO HER THAT SHE DOESNT QUITE KNOW HOW TO CARE FOR IT SEEMS AND I AM THERE KIND OF LIKE AN AU PAIR OR SOMETHING AND PUTTING THE KIDS TO BED AND THEN WATCHING A.L.T. ALONE AT THE KITCHEN TABLE LIKE SHES NOT QUITE SURE WHAT TO DO , THERE IS A SOUND IN THE KITCHEN AND SHE ASKS ME WHAT IT IS AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL WHICH HAS SOMEHOW BEEN LEFT RUNNING....

SEND UNDERWEAR (EMBARRASSING NOT SEXY) AND A PACKAGE WRAPPED IN NEWSPAPER TO UNBLEACHD SOMEHOW AND AM WATCHING HIM GET IT FROM AN OMNISCIENT NON PRESENT PERSPECTIVE AND HE TAKES THE UNDERWEAR AND PUTS IT ON OVER HIS JEANS AND THEN JUST STANDS THERE AND SMILES LIKE A WEIRDO

in some kind of weird babe-like story with my family and my brother...living on this farm or on this farm visiting...and our grandfather comes down to the lake-pond in the back of the farm and he is naked and he bathes there and somehow i see this in pictures that perhaps my brother took...

then we are with my grandmother on a porch and she was going to take us away somewhere...it turns out she ties animals and people to the front of her house to make some kind of point...

it also turns out her mother died (maybe somewhat like howard stern's mother because i was listening to howard stern latenight) and we are not sure if she is sorry that her mother died...

i keep trying to figure out the story and it seems familiar like babe or something so i'm also kind of trying to figure out which fairytale type thing we are in and i'm getting confused and frustrated...

i go into a room with an older man i dont really recognize who i guess i was in some kind of relationship with ( i a aware of frankas somewhere and this is not frankas) and he tells me that woman at the party when we first got to the farm (which i remember again in pictures) was his wife

and he tells me we can't see each other anymore and i am pretty ok with it (although he doesnt notice) and then we go for a drive

I am omnipotent with Beth stern at fashion show and in the lives of Beth and Howard stern, Persephone merit, David am law is my best friend, truck driver, I am telling people at a halfway house, Dave tree runs, there are empty cabinets and frames in the outdoor hall sunroom, kind of like an artist asylum, more like a. Basement on the inside, Beth stern buying two canisters of seaweed at a corner sushi shop in New York, I am going on vacation with Janet Jarva and bringing cats back, bringing one cat for everyone, uncle Kenny wants a cat and also moves into the art asylum forcing Andrew mello to leave (this is what I hear I do not see Andrew mello after this rumor) trying to eat food junk food, cookies and pizza, stopping at a restaurant on family vacation with Erik and curt and janet. The artist asylum is more like an abandoned house, kind of like the basement in 101 Dalmatians. Beth stern is sitting next to me but in a different row at the fashion show and then climbs over the row to sit next to me and starts telling me about stuff, and stuff with Howard, she says there is something he does when you walk in the house that I will see. There is something like a broken mirror in the artists asylum when I see Andrew mello there.... Later on I am with Persephone and she is trying on two different outfits, one with purple straps across the back that looks fancy and another that is more a muted green color. I am wearing a pink muted too and green skirt of some kind, kind of like a long lost Montreal outfit I wore with Lindsay...I am biking through norwell and run into "Zachary Jacobs" if that's the right guy the one with the hair that travels.

Something like we are talking about how Howard Stern did something rude and din't realize it was rude and people are saying he has no manners but like Robin is pointing out he's embarrassed about the situation and that proves that he does have manners...Antonia and I in the woods, we end up at a zoo and this zoo I've been to like 4 times in the past month. I keep going to this zoo. Maybe I keep going to the zoo in dreams. Is it the same zoo as with the monkey? this time it is more woody and froggy and like the pretend Italy I went to with Maria. there is a frog in the pond and we are looking at the frog. There is like a long river.

Something makes it seem kind of like the Howard Stern family dynamic. Alvan is there and Rob and maybe Christiana. We are walking around at night, inside and outside. We are all musicians or supposed to play music. There is talk about guitar playing and I am thinking I have to get better at the guitar. There is some girl there Rob is supposed to be in love with and everyone knows he's in love with her and I am in the crowd of people. He is talking about the girl and sometimes I'm not sure if he's talking about her or about me. Sometimes he is talking about her and I am pleasant and joking about it.

I neeed to play the guitarr!!

I hanging out with Howard Stern and his wife Beth at like a Barnes and Noble or something. HOWARD AND i have met before and it seems like we are friends but I am trying really hard to impress him in our conversation and I'M ON A ROLL. HE has his hair pulled back in a ponytail and is wearing black Havianna flip flops. He mentions them self-consciously and I tell him I have the same ones and I also felt odd about wearing them. He seems very calm but shy and a little self-conscious, a lot like Cliff Peacock. Beth is very giggly and enthusiastic and sweet, she kind of reminds me of Kennedy. She makes a mistake trying to talk about a dietary supplement or something, something like midor but I think it ends in a D, whatever it is I know what she is trying to say but the word she actually says is the word for something else but I don't think they were real words, I just knew what they meant. And Howard realized the mistake and was like Babe, midor!? midor!? And kind of got after her on it but in a sort of disbeleiving way and not in a cruel kind of way and she didn't get defensive at all. I thought she was maybe a very intelligent woman and felt like maybe she simplified that part of her for HOWARD. During our convo I started to realize Howard was sort of my mentor and then I think I imagined being on the show with him, and imagined what it was like when he had Beth on the show. I started talking about how I didn't have an outlet for my creativity and got the feeling Howard was going to offer me some kind of position...maybe that was when I started imagining the other situations. For some reason I felt like I needed to get on the ferry. I knew we were in Boston...or I had just gotten off the ferry.