group home will ukulele john cremona

go somewhere where austin is living and it is like a group home and almost like my grandmother is living there, there is a long hallway that has a kitchen and a social area and all the rooms are connected to that

will shows up there and his girlfriend is there with him and i love his girlfriend and she is really sweet and nice and kooky and trying to do some kind of experiment in the bathroom, she seems very young like a little kid

and will is there and we are really getting along and i can tell he loves me and the girlfriend doesn't seem to mind but he is touching me through my clothes and im suprised the girlfriend seems so cool and doesn't mind and wonder if they are broken up and just friends now

but its clear if we were alone it would be different it would be more

its some kind of party at the group home


then im on the street with a ukulele with john cremona in new york and we go into this little wooden divey music bar (maybe its the bitter end) and a girl with a guitar sings a song

and i run out because i want to write the song down and try to do the same thing on ukulele but i just run to the other side of the bar not outside and when i come back john cremona is outside and said he cant take the vibe in there in not so many words

and i go back in and there is a short man with a mustache or a goattee asking for a cover charge now and i say i left my wine in there cuz i did (red wine) and he is grabbing me by the arm immediately and barely lets me in to get the wine so i see how the vibe changed and i go find my wine and a guy there is about to pick it up and i say 'thats my wine' and take it and he is very hurt by this and i apologize several times to him

then jonathan and laura garvey show up in the room and they are with this guy (and i vaguely realize the guy is supposed to be matt lawrence and maybe is hurt that i didnt recognize him ? and where did this come from?-- possibly from talking to his mom in waking life who works at the public library ?)

and then sitting in a circle on the floor with jonathan and laura garvey and matt lawrence and then laura garvey wants to teach me some traditional song on ukulele and my ukulele had only 2 strings and i pick it up and a string falls off so it has only one string

and i go outside to talk to john cremona 

When frankas is falling asleep he is going no no no and I ask him what's happening and he says someone was trying to stick fingers up his butt

Jason tedeschi comes over my house for some reason there are three beers in my parents basement that we share one in an Oscar Schmidt but it is really that other kind of beer that maybe begins with an o and has cursive writing on it and is someone like Oscar Schmidt (the guitar) but not - my parents are out of town

I have to leave to go and meet Sara silk and her friend Lisa and some of her other friends at this movie bar somewhere in hull and I drive from my parents house it is a bar with a movie theater attached and you get drinks and then go into the movie, we are playing around doing improv and when Lisa does improv with Sara Sara gets right up in her face as she's speaking like touching her face with her face and it is very funny and I like hanging out wi them I am somewhat worried about drinking and driving and being neurotic 

Another sequence before that I am washing nane in a bathtub , we are at her house and my mom and dad are there and we are all in the bathroom and washing her and she is going under the water and they are saying she is ok and I pull the drain and she comes up for air and she says this is why I want you to live with me or this is why you are my friend because I'm going blurb bluh blurb bluh blurb bluh blurb down there and then she breathes deeply and says happy new year everybody! And in that moment I think she seems like Marilyn Monroe

my grandmother is dying. then i think she has died already and shes been dead. then it turns out shes lying over kind of emaciated in a pool of her own blood and she wasnt dead and shes just been there like that for a long time.

I am at "7 winfield street" as it exists in the dream, and maybe I am late getting back and think Sharon might be upset with me. She comes down and into the apartment though and isn't mad, she is talking about the cats and how they should be allowed to be freer or dirtier. She says something about how "see shes fine there" about edna laying across the table or something.

Eithere because Sharon told me I should I decide to take the cats out.
(Before this I try to walk to the convenience stores to get a snack but they are all closed and I realize its a lot later than I thought) Sharon is in a car with a strange man or there is a strange man in a car several times, as if he is sort of following me. I think maybe he is supposed to be a cop.

Then I decide to take the cats out instead because I'm hungry and so I take them to a restaurant down the street. I want to go check on Nane in the middle of dinner but realize I can't leave the cats at the table by themselves or else they won't behave themselves. I get a call from my mother and don't answer it and then realize its her birthday.

When I get back to the apartment I go in the back and my grandmother is on the floor but I pick her up and get her back into bed. The alarm is going off. My mother is also in the kitchen with my Aunt Pam.

I am in a large house like a mansion. First I am in my nomal house though. It is something like Thanksgiving. Anson is coming to my house and there is nothing I can do about it maybe and I am trying to keep it a secret from my parents. He will have to stay in the basement. I forget about this. Then lots of family starts showing up at the house and I am talking with relatives and getting white wine. Then the basement door starts banging around and busts open and out walks anson. he is balding and his head is shaved almost bald, he does not look so good. immediately i yell at my brother for locking him in the basement which i suddenly know he did. my mother is upset about the event but my dad just kind of jokes with me and says "well you know uncle gene wanted to bring his new girlfriend to spoleto" and then sort of doesthe rick joke-shrug at me. "what does that have to do with anything?" i say, but it makes me feel better that he isnt taking it as seriously.

ok, then i am in the mansiony house which is really really old and i live there with my family but mostly just my mom is there and nane is also there...then gramcracker is there! and i am like what the hey is going on. so i go to my mom aqnd im like i thought grammie was dead! and she is like yeah, well she is dead but she has this wierd sort of dead person alzheimers where she wakes up every now and again and acts like her old self and doesnt remember that she is dead. meanwhile nane is her old regular alzheimers self. grammy dances around and sings a teacup song and every little song she sings i try to sing too but i dont know the words and i dance around her while she sings them (this happens later tho at some sort of art show or exhibtion in a gymnasium/ auditorium) while we are still in the mansion house we walk over at some point to a bed (me mom nane and grammie) and on the bed are nane and grammies "dead" bodies, nane gets upset seeing grammie and also probably the dead bodies but grammie is really clueless. it is creepy though and i try to get everyone away from the dead bodies.

ok, and then i am at some sort of camp or something. something has gone wrong and we all have to sit underground in a hallway all day. it has to do with sharks. we get assigned to teams. maria is there and maybe we are in college. mr. devine seems t be the leader of sorts. we are waiting to get let out of the hallway. my team ends up going into a classroom filled with water in which there is a shark and something happens with the shark trying to bite us and we are all on some sort of raft or something together and we go around the classroom in circles with the shark snapping at us but no one gets bit. i believe because no one from the team gets bit we are then allowed to go home. it seems like maria and i are in charleston and it is a weekend night and we are trying to go out.

catchup dream excerpts from the past month

in one dream i am looking at a one or two bedroom apartment in charleston and thinking how beautiful it is and how much i want to live there but then i realize i have no money and i dont know how ill pay for it and i consideer trying to rent it for one month only.

in another dream i've forgotten to lock the doors and i come home and the living room (at nane's) is completely wiped out, nothing in it at all and i realize that someone came in and stole everything and that it was all my fault. i am so scared. then andy comes and says oh well, we couldnt sell any of that stuff anyway. i am very upset with myself.

in another dream i've slept with someone, maybe anson and then i am on a bus with will or an airplane and i keep trying to talk to him and grab his sleeve but he won't talk to me.


* in other news i saw a dream interpreter on the tyra show who said that a house in dreams is supposed to represent oneself!

i am tripping shrooms at some point and someone tries to makes me drink orange juice but i don't want to...i decide orange juice and vitamin c in general are bad for me...my parents have bought a new house, they never told me they were selling our old house, and i am staying at nane's but i am supposed to be moving to another part of nane's house which is like an attached building but my mom never showed me where the entrance and locks were. i end up at my parents new house and they are really mean to me and i end up drinking a lot of red wine and getting in my car and pretending to drive to nane's but really i drive to charleston. i get to charleston and stop at a bar which in the dream is vickery's but looks more like upper deck. i go around the corner and stand in front of a table where andrea (michaels brodericks friend) is sitting talking to someone. i think the stairs are behind her but they're really in the next room. i walk over to where they really are and anson comes out of a group of people and says hey. i'm not sure if we hug. he asks me if i have been "blacking" a lot lately which means tanning and i say no and go to the bathroom. there is black makeup all over my face because i had been sobbing all the way there, so i clean myself up. me and anson walk outside and are talking. we get into a u-haul which i guess is his car. then i can see in the rearview that megan has just gotten there and is out front at vickery's. anson jumps out of the car. i already know that theyre back together. i just sit there but at some point i draw some stuff and leave something for anson on the pavement of the parking lot...then they come out together into the parking lot like they're going somewhere and megan opens the driver's door of the u-haul like she is going to get in but anson yells something and she doesn't. the whole time she doesn't even turn her head so she doesn't see me but it seems strange that she wouldn't. i run out after that and hop from stone to stone back to where my car is and i know anson is watching me leave. after that i take the car and go to the beach (there is a period where ive left something in these peoples backyard and i end up in a pond of ducks and the lady of the house comes outside). at the beach i see john and we get high but when he comes i am sort of levitating because i had read if you jump up higher and stay calm you come down slower. then when he gets there i show him how i am jumping up so high and i start floating upward only i can't control it anymore and i keep getting higher and then at some point it seems like its too high and i get scared and then something happens, i forget exactly what, but the fear goes away.

last three nights smushed together because i've been dreaming too much

i am on a trip with my parents, i see cliff peacock he is telling me what to do with my life, i forget what he tells me, somewhere i see the large hairy caterpillars a woman was talking about on npr the other day, i want to phone in and tell them that she wasn't mistaken, that the caterpillars really do have hair, short bristly hair. they are black and white. i am trying to find will at another point. i think i want to sleep with him. i can't find him. anson tells me he has read his horoscope in the city paper (scorpio) it advised him to giggle like a tipsy sagittarious. he sees all the same connections i thought of when i saw it. we have a good time together. we are alone. i dream i am living with nane in south boston. she is sitting at the chair nearest the porch in the kitchen. she is muttering to herself. chelsea gives me advice on something, i forget now. i see someone else, maybe bret lott.

i am in the studio. i have built three pieces of ice cream/ three eggs/ 3 white discs/ a hamburger sculpture which sits in a wheelbarrow/ sheet of paper sculpture. i go to the recovery room which is across the street, there is something going on at every bar tonight. i sit outside and draw on the picnic table. jarod comes in but doesn't see me. i may be wearing a mask, then. i go in after and someone (anson/ geoff) tells me i shouldn't do anything with jarod. i see jarod later and he has a milkshake from baskin robbins. he went and bought it, came back, and filled it with vodka. I know then i am there for him so i leave & go back to the studio. someone else has sculpted a huge plastic bunny. sharon lacey is up there and she is talking about how she is dating matt foreman like we both know it and its ok. she says she has a problem with a student on facebook ( dana). a man (officer) comes in and says students can only use the studio from 5-9 because the orchestra needs to practice. sharon lacey argues with him. i notice lacey is wearing a sudafed t-shirt and try to show her the sudafed packs i have in nane's old purse but i brought the wrong one. lacey says she also has things like that. lacey wants to go to the recovery room, then. she thinks she will introduce me to jarod. we go to the recovery room together.

dream digression- 11\20\09

people (chelsea, will ) come over and pet the cats, they are full of fleas, i tell maria i am skipping class, we are eating a lot of food, my mother drives me to the grocery store because i work there, she is very angry because she went away and i didnt take down her messages- i keep saying - wont they know that you were caring after your ailing mother