spending time with beth nelson and having a great time, only tinges of some kind of sadness, that make us remember /talk about when she was depressed or wasn't herself when we weren't talking or hanging out, but she is bubbly and excited and fully herself and it seems like a long time ago that we ever weren't friends, we are walking around on a path almost like we're walking through a forest but could be more like we were walking through boston at night and there was no one around.


****two nights ago***
long time with sara silk being v cool to me but we are hanging out, big emptyish marble buildings, something with hamsters seemingly being dead and looking like the stretch armstrong banana all stretched out and then kind of snapping back together and coming back to life

8/8/2017

8/8/2017

RIGHT BEFORE I WAKE UP-

Pulling up to this town center (not norwell) with my mom and shes yelling kinda about how she always has to wash my pants and I wear so many pairs of pants a day, out of nowhere, - in the middle of the street there are two long wood tables with different ice cream places giving out samples, cold stone creamery is one, she is taking me to a restaurant I work ar so I can change into a lime green simple sleeveless dress (like that red one ive had forever)

Something about you wear your clothes like linen or make a mess like linen/ something like a song lyric

I am saying how we need another house in Cohasset because we just got stuck in some townie traffic

Before this I dream this whole movie

With Allison Williams she comes down to this chamber, it’s a sci fi like thing, and all these girls are living or going to school in this very sterile chamber habitat and there is something white and glowing in long drawers like you might put one long cadaver in and allsion Williams comes down one morning at the beginning of the movie and doesn’t say anything but sits on a bench in the chamber where the long glowing thing is kept and one of the headmasgter women is there and then she cuts her hand seemingly without cutting it on anything and bleeds out and dies and there is one picture still image of her holding a headband and bleeding and her eyes are wide and shes about to die, but she never says anything but we know she knew something before her death

Somehow I knew Allison Williams was going to die in the beginning of the film but the whole thing seems very real and I start sobbing in the dream and make myself wakeup

Lena dunham is in the future school to and the movie continues with her opening the cabinet and going into the white glowing stuff and inside of the white glowing stuff is purple hard stuff like memory and something has to happen with this this way not sure what

my grandmother is dying. then i think she has died already and shes been dead. then it turns out shes lying over kind of emaciated in a pool of her own blood and she wasnt dead and shes just been there like that for a long time.

Uncle Andy, Erik, Mom, Dad and me are all living in one house...there may be more family living there as well but I'[m not sure. Uncle Andy is living with us because he and Carol have split up...it also seems like she has died perhaps or been very cruel to Andy. Uncle Andy and Erik both feel like its a little below them to be living in the house with the rest of us and they decide to run for a position in the local election. Then everyone goes to sleep and I am the only one awake for a long time. While they are sleeping I also run for election and by the time they wake up the voting has already happened and I have been elected as an official. They are only slightly put off and I don't care because they are both very self-serving in their attitudes at this point in the dream...I think I may have ran purely to stop them from being elected and/or to show them that the public does not support their attitudes...also just to see what would happen...also because I felt they underestimated me.

Then me, my mom and Uncle Andy are driving in a car. Andy is upset about Carol- I don't know why I feel like she's died but I know they have split up and perhaps she has both the girls on her side and Uncle Andy is not allowed to see them- We are driving in a parking lot and making jokes and Andy, who is very sad, seems to cheer up a little bit...but then we see Carol and Leslie I think walking through the parking lot. I am sitting in the front seat and try to block them from Andy's view with my head but it doesn't work. Andy asks us to pull over so we do. We get out of the car and are standing on a wood-slat dock of sorts over a creek. Uncle Andy gets out of the car and starts crying. My mom disappears at this point and the car starts to slide over into the water...Uncle Andy tries to keep the car from going in and at first it is sort of funny (the parking lot seems like the parking lot outside of Leslie and Erin's highschool in Marblehead) but then Andy falls into the water. I am standing on the wood dock trying to pull him out of the water but he keeps slipping.

I dream that Ricky texts me "let me take you out tonight?" I imagine that I text him back "No. Let me take you out."