october 10 2021

 sleeping over at billy arrias house, some kind of party going on , and im sleeping all by myself up in some room in a comfy bed with my rabbit under the covers

and i wake up and talk to billy

in between scenes of us at college together in a classroom with the desks and chairs that are all one piece and laura garvey talking

and me being friends with laura garvey somehow because of billy and appreciating her

and then billy is gone somewhere leaves suddenly or something and im in this small wood paneled bar somewhere and i have to pee

and a little folding door opens and billy walks out and hes with someone else there too and im so happy to see him to find him and i hug him

and then im trying to use the bathroom but the door keeps sliding open and they are seeing me trying to pee and laughing at me

then billy hugs me from behind and it feels good and he goes to grope my breast

(irl his ig pops up with a story post and i tell him he was in my dream and a good presence, thinking about him in a different way than i ever have before , weird & interesting)

travis and i are on tour. maybe someone else is with us also. someone is there when we get there, maybe jacki maynard, she is so excited that we are there and running around and wants to go next door. i guess we have played here before.

right before i wake up there is this other band playing in ernie paulins room, i think out of speakers and they are singing "somethin something something, SON,  well im the devil on the run" and i am thinking this song and this band is so good and wishing i wrote this song (although maybe i did)

we drive to the venue in a car and it is far away, maybe austin texas and we meet up with ernie paulin who we are staying with. the venue is one room that seems less like an actual venue and more like a dark empty room with no chairs and it is connected to a bar. i am drinking during the performance.

afterwards we are at ernie paulins and i notice which i noticed before he has long black scraggly hair, but at his apartment i see his hair on the sofa and realize its a wig. he is ranting about who is taking care of me? and all this stuff as if i need a babysitter or something, very brotherly like but tongue in cheek. i am eating cheetos out of my backpack and remembering i have a piece of pizza somewhere which i have been saving and thinking i should eat it. i am sitting on the floor in this dark room of his apartment and travis is on the couch. i keep asking him questions and he is acting like he cant be bothered but he is very manic like pacing around and funny. i ask him how many people live in the house? he says 17. he says he knew i forgot something while i was performing because i was drinking. i said i didnt forget anything. travis loks delighted at ernie. it is almost like a blacklight room. he goes up to the wall at some point and touches this wooden block that has something printed on it and is sticking out of the wall. the wood block wiggles like it is made out of sensitive flimsy rubber. i want to investigate it but i don't get up. i decide i will check it out later. then the song comes on (i can see the band in my mind but i am still in the room).

then my birth control alarm goes off