Dave tree is wearing the pink parrotise shirt we bought rap for Xmas at savers, I only really notice he was wearing it after he leaves. He comes into Eriks room at my parents house and me and rp are staying there. There is a wind chime metal thing with metal strings and blue glass in the left hand corner of the room and before we were hanging it across the room but when Dave comes in it is hanging straight down in the corner, I tell him I wanted it to go across the room. I tell him I do whatever I am doing for rp at the moment for other people too like frankezoid (which is what I mean) but I say luch. Before he comes and we are In this room I am somewhere with the frankezoid, almost like we all live together in a series of dilapidated mansions or the same big house, he has some quarters in this house but they seem abandoned or something. Briefly it is the idea of sone other nicer living somewhere, a building with glass windows and the building is like a cliff face to a beach below it and the weather is wArm. Also some kind of arcade maybe near there briefly. Rp and I almost having sex right before I wake up, we have been fooling around in bed and are going to do it but then Stephen is there and we are seeing whether or not he'll notice if we have sex right in front of hi. But in a blanket on the floor - I wake up

i am at the college and the art department is getting ready for the susan b. anthony award. all the professors submit and students may also submit. i am freaking out inside because i think the due date is that night and i dont have anything and don't think i should really submit. the college is at UVA and cliff is in the rotunda. barbara has made a submission which has a blue matress quilt thing and then a lamp and a piece of paper, all the colors match, its an arrangement of objects and it looks genius. then i go to class with cliff and he hands everyone stuffed animals to make our projects with. he brings me over a bear and brushes the side of my face with his hand. when i leave and go out side john says the submissions arent due until thrusday so i think about maybe trying to make something. it is like a carnaval-ish in the street outside.

first night home- mom comes in in morning/ scares shit out of me

i am talking to cliff. first i am at the studio which is more like a big warehouse. there is a girl there tryng topaint, she has a private lesson with cliff. i am getting supplies. cliff asks me if i want to go outside ( to smoke). i say yes but we dont end up smoking together. i go upstairs to my studio. i make a pink and white dog out of something like playdo. i melt a pink my little pony and pull it around. at first things look good but they start to look hideous andgrotesque. there is a painting of a womean hanging by her arms in a green dress. i notice my paintings have more depth. then cliff comes upstairs and i am too nervous to work then/ ashamed of the work. he is showing john how to stretch a canvas. he comes over and i start talking about how its going. i guess i say we. he says now who s always up here with you whispering, are you gonna say because it seems like there's aways someone up here with you. then he points at the dog and he says as long as you don't name it nina simone. it is a joke because a little black girl was once mauled by a rottweiler while crossing the street on a skateboard. i dont know why this makes sense but i get it. i laugh. there is a girl working on something to the right of us. cliff says- my sister used to give me so much shit, you know the saying kafka wasn't a very something, wel i said Capricorn wasn't a very occupied jew! he thinks this is hilarious. the girl to our right tries to make bad similar jokes. we ignore her.

before that it is the school day and john is at his parents house. i see his parents and his mom asks me all these questions, gets me a drink. she is clearly crazy or extremely out of it. i think she has had a lobotomy. i don't know what to do myself. i'm not even sure if i want to get high.

* there is another part of the dream where i am with carol ann. we are having class ut we travel around. there is a painting and it is timmy's, he's gone over it and put a bright white portrait on the right side. i bring this up to the class. maria keeps talking about how she loves the class but i think she is getting more and more pissed ff. she keeps talking to me when carol ann is speaking and it makes me nervous. then she and carol ann start going back and forth. carol ann tells her she can no longer use the term henceforth and also some other term.

later i talk about timmy's painting with cliff. i am excited about it. he says he thinks its workng. other than the pink dog he does not look at any of my work. he just asks if i'm into it if i need to be doing it.

i am in the studio. i have built three pieces of ice cream/ three eggs/ 3 white discs/ a hamburger sculpture which sits in a wheelbarrow/ sheet of paper sculpture. i go to the recovery room which is across the street, there is something going on at every bar tonight. i sit outside and draw on the picnic table. jarod comes in but doesn't see me. i may be wearing a mask, then. i go in after and someone (anson/ geoff) tells me i shouldn't do anything with jarod. i see jarod later and he has a milkshake from baskin robbins. he went and bought it, came back, and filled it with vodka. I know then i am there for him so i leave & go back to the studio. someone else has sculpted a huge plastic bunny. sharon lacey is up there and she is talking about how she is dating matt foreman like we both know it and its ok. she says she has a problem with a student on facebook ( dana). a man (officer) comes in and says students can only use the studio from 5-9 because the orchestra needs to practice. sharon lacey argues with him. i notice lacey is wearing a sudafed t-shirt and try to show her the sudafed packs i have in nane's old purse but i brought the wrong one. lacey says she also has things like that. lacey wants to go to the recovery room, then. she thinks she will introduce me to jarod. we go to the recovery room together.

dream digression- before sculpture final/ december

i dream that i make this piano thing. it is like half piano/half table and there is glass, maybe it is partly made of metal. it sits in this building like a townhouse apartment or something and floor to ceiling windows all around it. it is black red, white- the three most powerful colors. then it is suspended in the air, sort of like i am the piano-table but not really. it is on top of the buildings and i have to try to keep it from falling into the ocean (with my mind?) i lose it though and it falls int the ocean and then i am the one who is floating on top of the buildings and i have to try to keep myself from falling. there is something pulling and pushing me, like fear or gravity. i mess up and fall off the building but right then i realize i am dreaming so its ok. once i realize im dreaming i float back up to the tops of the buildings and not falling is more like a game and less like life or death.