new york church sarah lyle

in new york with i think sarah lyle walking through a mall where all the shops are closed like macys and all these big stores and theyve all closed down because no one shops at stores anymore

and its just a big empty mall like a ruin, that we used to know

walking through glass doors to outside and i am wearing these bright blue high heels that are so high and my ankles keep bending and rolling over like they're made of rubber or putty

and im looking at them still just trying to walk and notice the shoes are on the wrong feet

so i change them but they are still hard to walk in and im talking to sarah about how i dont know how all the ladies on ROBH do it everyday all the time

and i am thinking of lisa vanderpump

and i can feel v viscerally the blisters on my feet forming in the shoes as we are walking into a
church

to meet some people and we sit down at a table in the church and we are sitting with two kind of butch looking girls and i am thinking how everyone always eats out in new york

and how i dont want to live there because i want to stay home and save my money but the whole church table seating scenario is odd and droll and throwing off my dream reality

and one girl has bland blond curly hair parted down the middle no makeup earthy looking with a black t shirt with writing on it and then she mentions the mic that is happening tonight is her mic

and called something like willows and thinking she can put me on ---
somehow know that its a comedy mic

amy shumer is in town and she has been texting me... things like pictures of her with a thought bubble coming out of her head and some of my birds in the thought bubble...

i realize and text her back and talk to her about going to the middle east. i realize we were supposed to go together last week but i didn't show up.

i meet up with her and bring her into a room where frankas and someone else is and introduce her. then we are at some kind of comedy club kind of backstage and i find tyrone there and someone else, a girl, maybe sam j.

i am thinking of what jokes i am going to do and trying to think of a joke to do for amy, kind of about amy...i am thinking i will do elmo and the tiniest hand job and i can't think of what to do next. i realize she really wants to go to the middle east though and its reassuring but i want to do well. i remember her saying she bombed a lot and try to think of something genuine i could just try out.

in another part of the dream i am in some kind of math class and in the math class we are making a water ecosystem in a dark room. there is a big tank of water with plant life growing all around it in the center of the room and you can walk all the way around the tank.

there are eels and fish and little miniature dolphins in the tank. i pick up one of the dolphins out of the water and it turns into one of those sponge grow-a-sponge things that gets bigger when you put it in the water. but when it is in the water it is a real miniature dolphin and it swims around.

i realize they make this whole ecosystem for the math class every semester and i start wondering what they do with all ther animals and everything after each semester.

December 11th 2015

Francesca Antonia

A big warehouse type space where everyone from emf and beyond is there doing something

Perez Ricardo wants to know why I'm nice to him and why I treat him he way I do- I hear him talking to me from behind and I know he is pushing a shopping cart

Terence is here too there is some kind of comedy fight going on, someone has changed the tile in one of the big rooms of the wArehouse and I notice

Dave trees art is there

I have a car and Francesca villa comes in during the comedy fight and dissolves it somehow she gets in my car and I am giving her a ride before that she is sitting next to me and I ask her if she went to Antonia's wine party and she said no in her way it was ok she was watching some kangaroo show which I somehow know is a cartoon

We get in the car and i tell her it's ok even if she doubts me I feel I will prove myself to her eventually and am going to tell her about being the third and oldest villa to my surprise but see maybe she is about to cry and then she gets out of the car

Someone takes my car and iam looking around for it and upset, something has changed once the warehouse is outside

Before this I go to Sara silk and Lisa barons apartment and have a glass of wine and they are doing something there having some kind of party or something very glad I came and interested in me but the party is wrapping up too and I leave

When I lose the car I also lose a motorcycle I had somehow and iam walking around the outside warehouse area and I hear jonand kaz and people and then I see Jon and some people I the hallway and give him a long hug, I don't know what they are doing,no kaz, then I walk outside and I see kaz by the side of a building

There is some comedy kind of poker night I am a part of and some moley looking guy and also nick from rps act and josh Davis and his girlfriend are there, it is like a vfw hall somewhere. Rp is there at some point kind of fight/playing with nick and I feel like I realize how dark their relationship is

Something has happened to curt Jarva one week ago and he confesses to me he hasn't slept with my mother in a week? He doesn't say this exactly he says something more like ' he's been letting down the family'.... But I know what he means by this somehow, I think I am relating it to me and frankas and the idea of our sexual togetherness, I feel I am aware of this in the dream but not positive

I am sitting at the head of the table on the bear to the camera side of things and the opposite head of the table across from me

We are playing some kind of game or doing some kind of improv performance, Rachel haven josh Davis's girlfriend has some kind of interaction with one of the comedians which I interpret as a misunderstanding 

We are outside in the parking lot and she is saying how she knows she was right about that guy and what she did and everything, how she acted, she didn't let him get away with something...

I am saying we all need to hang out again, but not sure if I wanted to be there in the first place and where I'm going, why I came and what my role is... I am not sure

The parking lot is dark and wet and it feels like summer like I am thin and have shorts on and a shirt over my head,

Reminiscent of one night in charleston where we walked around in the rain and drew on our legs and I had long dark hair with Alex Johnson