i can sort of see this chart with all my grades in aq light red pencil. i squint at it and sort of try to look and try to not look at the same time. i think that one of the grades is maybe an F but it turns out its not i'm pretty sure. peacock is at a thing outside an art building. there are a bunch of graduate art students there. he is smoking a cigarette. someone starts talking about my graduation outfit and he starts asking about it. he says i hope it wasn't like a crucified bigot and i know he means maybe it looked like i was a KKK member but i told him it was more like a german toddler adult size and he laughed. later on we have to get ready for a class. john hull is gessoing canvases to paint. cliff says something about being serious and john hull says its different for him. i amcarrying three canvases that are this yellowish orange color. cliff is standing in the corner painting a large black crow with an orange background. he says meredith cant be upset by people because she outwits them and the same will be true for me. he is talking about meredeth trevino who is there somehow. outside earlier he makes fun of alex and does an impression of her.

wednesday december 23rd 2009

it is time for finals. i am with monica. i am afriad i am going to fail history. i think john hull teaches my history class or is in charge of my grade. the finals are all in hugerooms like gymnasiums. there are paper lists on the wall that have a drawing of a eye and whether or not you have to take the final. i see my name and it says something about giving me a bad look. i think that maybe this means that ive failed. i leave and dont take the final. i run into jarod charsewski. there are discount packages of cookies, maybe pepperidge farm, ginger cookies, they have a milk ingrediet. later we are starving and monica eats them and i am going to eat them even though they have a milk ingredient.

(while writing this dream i remember the dream i had once where we were in the woods, in a sleigh or something almost like the festival of lights. there were deers and horses.)