october 16 2021

 doing a film with austin rutledge somewhere in a big dark house... im there and then realize lauren pespisa is there who i told austin i never want to film with again so i go off by myself

i tell austin i need some speed and he gives me a big capsule full of some sickly sweet stuff and i eat it in the bathroom

(irl when i wake up austin wants to film but i dont and he posts a pic of lauren on his ig)

on vacation somewhere with my mom erin and leslie, somewhere like capri or italy-- light ocean tropical beaches-- and we keep going to the same restaurants like we're running out of restaurants to go to -- and we're going somewhere on the last night and we accidentally go to the same restaurant again and leslie and my mom say how i hug erin more than them and how uncle andy said the same thing and i say i realize that and i mean to hug them all more and want to get us all in a pile like the old days --

                                                            yesterday;

will somewhere, maybe somewhere cav is , looking for will maybe, at my parents house, petting chloe, upstairs and my mom is saying i need to get a dog, she knows about gilbie but i can see gilbie like he is there and fine right in front of me

                                                           day before;

 go to an arcade movie theater by myself and the movie starts and then the movie stops all of a sudden and a grey screen comes up and music starts playing like an intermission and there is a hungry hippos game in front of me and i start thinking i have time to play it during the intermission and first i try to put a euro in the machine and then i find a gold arcade coin and put it in and start playing and a dad in seats nearby kindof yells at me but i explain myself and we're ok, then i leave the theater and get lost and i have to go back up  a glass elevator to get back to the theater and then the movie is over and i missed it and everyone is leaving and i walk out of the theater in the crowd crying

                                                            day before;

austin rutledge comes over to my parents house and is upset about a movie, something, he leaves and im in my brothers room

living in austin or charleston somewhere and seeing max and then later somewhere there but

somewhere else talking to chelsea

and she is saying max is doing heroin        but i dont see it

on some kind of road trip with my parents, through something like a natural preservation land kind of amusement park with something inside like a fountain in the middle or like the grand canyon but not really at all like the grand canyon. then we get in the car and are driving through places/ walking through places like Austin or what seems like a strip mall of little restaurants, kind of like that one street in L.A. where everything seems kind of indoors and kind of outdoors at the same time, or everything is almost a food court; we are deciding where to go to eat. Maybe you could only get to the first place via a big cruiseship kind of boat, more like a ferry.