there is a dog and when i put it on the table the colors of the table cloth change. i am in a family sort of situation in some house somewhere that reminds me of that house where there was a christening or something and a white couch and i went with my mom. later on i talk to anson's father on the phone. i forget why. he says something funny. it is a funny conversation. i'm afraid i may have accidentally hung up on him.

first night home- mom comes in in morning/ scares shit out of me

i am talking to cliff. first i am at the studio which is more like a big warehouse. there is a girl there tryng topaint, she has a private lesson with cliff. i am getting supplies. cliff asks me if i want to go outside ( to smoke). i say yes but we dont end up smoking together. i go upstairs to my studio. i make a pink and white dog out of something like playdo. i melt a pink my little pony and pull it around. at first things look good but they start to look hideous andgrotesque. there is a painting of a womean hanging by her arms in a green dress. i notice my paintings have more depth. then cliff comes upstairs and i am too nervous to work then/ ashamed of the work. he is showing john how to stretch a canvas. he comes over and i start talking about how its going. i guess i say we. he says now who s always up here with you whispering, are you gonna say because it seems like there's aways someone up here with you. then he points at the dog and he says as long as you don't name it nina simone. it is a joke because a little black girl was once mauled by a rottweiler while crossing the street on a skateboard. i dont know why this makes sense but i get it. i laugh. there is a girl working on something to the right of us. cliff says- my sister used to give me so much shit, you know the saying kafka wasn't a very something, wel i said Capricorn wasn't a very occupied jew! he thinks this is hilarious. the girl to our right tries to make bad similar jokes. we ignore her.

before that it is the school day and john is at his parents house. i see his parents and his mom asks me all these questions, gets me a drink. she is clearly crazy or extremely out of it. i think she has had a lobotomy. i don't know what to do myself. i'm not even sure if i want to get high.

* there is another part of the dream where i am with carol ann. we are having class ut we travel around. there is a painting and it is timmy's, he's gone over it and put a bright white portrait on the right side. i bring this up to the class. maria keeps talking about how she loves the class but i think she is getting more and more pissed ff. she keeps talking to me when carol ann is speaking and it makes me nervous. then she and carol ann start going back and forth. carol ann tells her she can no longer use the term henceforth and also some other term.

later i talk about timmy's painting with cliff. i am excited about it. he says he thinks its workng. other than the pink dog he does not look at any of my work. he just asks if i'm into it if i need to be doing it.

when i wake up i have been at gina's and thought she might be coming around the corner inside the barn but instead it was a larger woman who didn't speak english. my brother asks me what i am going to do with my life and i say i've been thinking i can do whatever i want and maybe i'll be a singer. he asks me if i've ever been to that record store in puerto rico. i am with paige and john and maybe we live in a house. i draw a dog old woman/ with a can of soda. the dog/woman is sort of exploding. i am at the actons house next door at some point, maybe this brings me to gina's. there are cows it is a different actons than the real one but feels dream-familiar.

october 27th

i am on some wierd famkily vacation, i send a lot of time in the backseat of a minivan, at one oint we ass a decreit farm where it is clear from the dogs thaqt eugune and gail are staying, although we dont see them frankie (the dog) is there and i et him from the window my father talks about how susan lives on our street and on her art of the street there is crack and someone came and bought crack from her, at one -oint i go to a restaurant which is sortof like blockbuster (i am back home sort of with my arents) i go outside onto the terrace and jum into a sea of icy water by some kind of glacier, i am watching a movie sort of like the grizzly man, i remember how my dad tells me he is watching a movie once and the movie makes it seem like this huge log breaks and rolls out but really someone had come in and already but the broken off art of the log there, so when it ha--ened, he noticed and knew they were trying to kill him he jumed out of the way matthew bowers works at the restaurant and comes and gets me from the water and says why are you out here so late