in a classroom somewhere with will and other people in it , the class is revolving around madonnas ass, a big screen showing madonnas ass cheeks in a grey leotard , and then i am standing at the top of the class over a table with a guitar layed kind of on its back throwing flattened metal bottle caps across the top of the guitar kinda at will

and will comes up next to me and grabs my ass

then i am doing a show with heather mcdonald and chris franjola (who are playing on my phone in the waking world) and theyre talking to fast and my head and my mouth are like jello like i cant interject cuz theyre going too fast for me like leaving language entirely almost 

IM in highschool and i've missed some kind of english class for like over a year and just remembered i have it and it switches around... laura garvey is on her way to the class and says its ok its a substitute and it has been for a while and i should come..

so i go to the class and the teacher is susan the receptionist from  riverside community care in cambridge and she is the original teacher not a substitute and when she sees me come in she says thank you for finally being here

you left me for weeks with no north pole and the south pole of chris canfield has been attacking the syllabus...( something to this affect something about poles) and i am remebering more about the situation as she says this

and chris canfield walks in down a long ramp with a descending wall on the side of it that faces the rest of the class room (and this is the entrance) and chris sees me and pushes into me as he goes by and he looks good

and i remember somehow for some reason in the classes i was gone chris started bringing something up and was saying the word nigger loudly in his argument and when he comes in he says something to susan

and we both leave the class

but in between somehow i see him with his girlfriend who is a chubby short blonde chick i havent seen before, and she is talking low to him and kissing the side of his face and he looks like its his mother doing it

we meet again in some kind of long closet eves place which i guess is my shared kind of attic studio with some other people and chris comes in after me and i try to jump him basically and he says he has a girlfriend and i know it but hes not in to her and we end up having sex kind of or are going to but he has a really small penis (i dont think its that small irl but idk!)

as we are getting clothed shuggy and maria martin walk in and they are kind of in an  argument but this is when i remember i'm in our shared studio space... its something shuggy did

we leave as they come in 

Cliff Peacock is the teacher or main figure but it doesn't look like him but I know it is him. It looks more like a character from the animated movie the sword and the stone. He is teaching a class or leading a group I am in and we are in a log cabin of sorts in the woods somewhere. Peacock hands me something like a leaf or a stone, a small thing but I know it means something. I have the feeling he is trying to express how he cares about me or discreetly single me out within the group. We are making something or talking about making something but I don't feel as though it is painting.

i can sort of see this chart with all my grades in aq light red pencil. i squint at it and sort of try to look and try to not look at the same time. i think that one of the grades is maybe an F but it turns out its not i'm pretty sure. peacock is at a thing outside an art building. there are a bunch of graduate art students there. he is smoking a cigarette. someone starts talking about my graduation outfit and he starts asking about it. he says i hope it wasn't like a crucified bigot and i know he means maybe it looked like i was a KKK member but i told him it was more like a german toddler adult size and he laughed. later on we have to get ready for a class. john hull is gessoing canvases to paint. cliff says something about being serious and john hull says its different for him. i amcarrying three canvases that are this yellowish orange color. cliff is standing in the corner painting a large black crow with an orange background. he says meredith cant be upset by people because she outwits them and the same will be true for me. he is talking about meredeth trevino who is there somehow. outside earlier he makes fun of alex and does an impression of her.

i am in carol anns class, i feel that i've missed something, maria is there

dream digression- 9-17-09

i am at ginas house there is one young girl who is her daughter(ish) a horse, will graefe writes me an illustrated note (maybe it has a unicorn on it) it says i love you for right now--just kidding, i love you forever- i am in a horoscope class with preston- the teacher starts with me, going into a long explanation, preston interrupts & cuts her short in order to start talking about him, i get very angry & am extremely cruel to preston, afterward i feel bad about this

October 3rd 2009

I am in some weird class with Teresa Acton, my parents next door neighbor, and Shelley Smith, it is something to do with clothes and she is trying to reassure me. I think Shelley is dating Tom Quinn and they are discussing how great he is. Before this I am caught under a train and every time a car comes by I shake my feet so they see me and switch lanes or else they will run me over. I feel extremely claustrophobic. At one point there is some kind of party where entire wardrobes are being raffled off by decade (50's 60's, 70's, etc) I keep looking at my ticket numbers but the person keeps calling out first names and I realize I was supposed to write my name down but didn't and I don't win anything although seemingly everyone else does.