3/7/2017

john hopper maccallum shows me  a 'video' of paige in an asian orgy . i look at her and she sees me looking and pulls out of the scene and puts me in a pool where i start swimming.

i am with frankas and he is drunk , we are at the space then we are at my parents place. i am asking hin to make love to me, we dont.

i am observing frankas jenny and karen zanes doing a song in room 3 at emf

Dreaming I'm with Paige and maybe Meaghan Cannon, Lindsay. We are in L.A. and all take Molly and go to this restaurant only I haven't really taken enough of it and forget that everyones getting high and go between just trying to be at the restaurant and act normal and trying to take more molly because I remember we're doing drugs.
I think maybe I am there to film a show.
Ate too much the night before and feel uncomfortable in the dreams.
Somebody thats supposed to be Vince in a way but isn't is more like someone else from somewhere, some red-headed guy, younger than Vince. Sort of a woodsy swimmer character. I sleep with him in a chair and we have a weird kind of relationship. Afterwards I think its Vince.
Someone saying something about my lips how I have nice lips or big lips.

relationship fight

I am with Ryan in what seems like a mall parking garage or something. I have been going out sort of with Ricky and Spike from Charleston at the same time I've been going out with Ryan and they've all just found out about it. Spike and Ricky show up at the parking garage and I know shit is about to go down. Spike gets out of his car and instantly beats up Ricky. Ryan kind of runs away. I end up talking to them and saying I'm sorry and stuff. I feel really horrible.

Later I go to see Ryan and he is ok with the whole thing and says he didn't know. I think it's ok because he doesn't feel like I've promised him anything.

In another dream I am making a video or something with Alex and maybe Paige or maybe Kasumi Kato. Alex is walking around in her underwear wearing some kind of flowing white robe thing. I want to be in the video or more a part of it but its like they aren't letting me

I go to a bar that is sort of outside kind of like that place in charleston that looks like a gas station...

first i go here or i go to the olsens house- i see bobby olsen and bryan gaynor. bobby and kiley are there and bobby's mom is there so it must be their house. we are all sitting at a table having a sort of formal dinner in a way. I am trying to impress Bobby. Its almost as if I'd gone to new york in the first part of the dream but then we are at bobby's and its as if bobby has moved home and has been living in his mothers house for a long time. It seems like he doesnt have a real job and sort of relies on other people to pay for him when he goes out but he still pulls it off in a charming way. When we are at the dinner table his mom puts out this big ornate book and asks if I know of John Berryman and I say "The dreamsongs?" and then she shows me the book and it is the dreamsongs but the font and jacket are crazy ornate and i couldnt have read it before. I am sitting next to bobby and wonder if his mom and me getting along impresses him.
"

then we go out to the bar and its more like we're in new york. Paige and Meghann and Sinclair all show up and are wearing like bikinis and fur coats and hanging off things and running around, but its like I can't really be there. I am still trying to get Bobby to let on if he likes me or not and I am telling maybe Bryan or whoever I'm with how these are my friends but I don't remember talking to them. They had called me before or something but its like because of where I am I can't have fun the way that they are, even though it seems like we are in the same place.

I wake up around 5 30 in the morning to pee and I am dreaming that Alyssa Murphy is a radio personality. It suits her very well and I remind myself to remember it and tell her. I think I am phoning in to her station in the dream or I am in the booth with her and we are bantering back and forth. I guess it is sort of like the Ricky Gervais podcast show.

As I am starting to fall asleep I am thinking about the ring in the book Seabiscuit where the author or the jockey is a small boy and is watching an older jockey ride this horse around the ring. It is just the sandy ring and a greyish watercolory scene, grey blue sky, little grass, maybe trees, mostly the ring, the color of sand, the fence and the jockey on his horse going around and around. The ring is small. I guess maybe I am the little boy.

Then I am remembering the view from the window in the movie Mr. Lonely with the Michael Jackson impersonator and the Marilyn Monroe impersonator and the Charlie Chaplin/Hitler-esque impersonator. I am just looking out the window of the movie onto this lush greenery that goes on forever.

Then I am dreaming that I have just arrived somewhere. I am seeing Paige. I guess I am in Charleston but first I am with Paige and that seems different. Maybe it is New York to Charleston but it all seems like Charleston. I go to Paige's house and Chelsea is there and maybe Will.

I am with Paige or leaving and we get in a car with Rix and the driver is the Haittian guy Nobel from the T the other day. He is like the cab driver I guess. I have a small amount of pot I think but Paige says he'll have drugs and I think he rolls a joint or has a joint. We are going to Rix's trailor to see Pat. I run into the trailer when we get there and look around for Pat. Rix says something and he appears and acts very casual and cool at first and very non- Pat like. He is smoking a Marlboro Red and seems to present himself differently. Then we go outside and the trailer area sort of seems like that dog-show me and my mom went to once somewhere in New England. I tell Pat its ok I have something that he wants- either a cigarette, a lighter, or a joint but probably a joint.

when i wake up i have been at gina's and thought she might be coming around the corner inside the barn but instead it was a larger woman who didn't speak english. my brother asks me what i am going to do with my life and i say i've been thinking i can do whatever i want and maybe i'll be a singer. he asks me if i've ever been to that record store in puerto rico. i am with paige and john and maybe we live in a house. i draw a dog old woman/ with a can of soda. the dog/woman is sort of exploding. i am at the actons house next door at some point, maybe this brings me to gina's. there are cows it is a different actons than the real one but feels dream-familiar.

right before i wake up i am trying to tell my father i got kidnapped. he won't listen, he is talking about how i need to shut the window in my room. before that i had tried to tell my mother on the phone butmary had answered and said it would take too long. she wanted me to sing happy birthday to sephie. the kidnapper showed up in the beginning of the dream and was someone who went to norwell high but wasnt a real person i know. his name was ari gold, he may have been in my brothers grade. me and maria left my house to go to a party and he showed up again in the front yard and the car went into the front bushes. his head was in the front window but we got away. then later i was driving down the highway or something by myself and all of a sudden he was in the car. i was never very scared of him but i told him i was going to call the police or my home phone. now that i think of it i was actually just leaving my driveway. i told him i would cALL my house and then kept trying. he didn't try to make me stop but i couldnt remember my phone number. i got rid of him by getting in an accident where we ended up in two cars. he said i'm sorry...i said for what!? for kidnapping me!? for crashing into me!? he looked guilty. somehow i got to see him telling his mom how crazy he was. she could tell he was a cleptomaniac. before that i was in some college town trying to go to an art show. john was there and chelsea i think and paige. jared spooned me for a minute at some point, i'm not sure if we had the sex. when i was first going to sleep i could wave in between. i would be talking to someone in my dream and have the sensation that i was raising my left hand to my face and then i could tell i was sleeping and feel my hands were in the same place.

tuesday december 22nd 2009

i am at will paige and chelseas house. i find a hole in the bottom of my foot like a nail went through it. in the hole i find a millipede like worm. i shake it out and it is translucent and has lights in it. first it sqiggles around and then it blows up into a ball and flashes purple lights then goes back to a millipede and then flys off into the bathroom where i assume it goes into the toilet and is going to infect someone else. in the hole in the bottom of my foot there are what look like little tails and i assume they are millipede/ worm eggs. i shake them out. we have just finished exams or something.

dream digression start- 9-14-09

going to sleep i am talking to alex, max, then will (gran), telling them i am dreaming and beginning to sleep which keeps making me realize they are not really there because i am dreaming (this is when i switch who i am talking to) john, paige and i are in another sort of world and we have a flying car, john says he has been told he needs to make paige eat, she wants to go eat--- right before i wake up john says nevermind- right before i wake up luke offers me nine dollars

november 10th 2009

when i wake up i have been on the beach with my cousins leslie and erin, uncle andy, and my mom, only i remember sephie was there and willow, or perhaps mary merrit, i had just been walking with someone who was either willow, mary merrit, or jody johnson. the beach is beautiful, all bright colors, almost like the graffitti wall at kulture klash, there is a rollercoaster with the same colors in the background, there are huge shells of hermit crabs everywhere, all in the most wonderful patterns and colors. i worry ive left my camera near the shore. Before this I had been on vacation in New Hampshire with paige and we were leaving, she had just bought a pair of shoes aand we were in a shoe store and there was a pair of shoes which were almost exactly the same and she said she wished she had bought those instead. i also dream i am searching through my hair and find tiny little bright silver bugs and look them up on wikipedia and they are 'skin mites.' i am afraid i have scabes

september 30th 2009

i am trying to write an analytical paper only it turns to cheese and beans and emilianos head floats over it and for some reason this means i need to eat the cheese and beans and with every bite emiliano analizes this action as if it were a point in the analytical essay, or as if he could taste the cheese and beans by my eating it,there is also something with paige and john but i dont really remember....i think something about him feeding her and how he could feed me to, i was very hungry when i went to sleep last night and also had to write an annotated bibliography in the morning...it was very vivid when i woke up, damn citations!