on vacation somewhere with my mom erin and leslie, somewhere like capri or italy-- light ocean tropical beaches-- and we keep going to the same restaurants like we're running out of restaurants to go to -- and we're going somewhere on the last night and we accidentally go to the same restaurant again and leslie and my mom say how i hug erin more than them and how uncle andy said the same thing and i say i realize that and i mean to hug them all more and want to get us all in a pile like the old days --

                                                            yesterday;

will somewhere, maybe somewhere cav is , looking for will maybe, at my parents house, petting chloe, upstairs and my mom is saying i need to get a dog, she knows about gilbie but i can see gilbie like he is there and fine right in front of me

                                                           day before;

 go to an arcade movie theater by myself and the movie starts and then the movie stops all of a sudden and a grey screen comes up and music starts playing like an intermission and there is a hungry hippos game in front of me and i start thinking i have time to play it during the intermission and first i try to put a euro in the machine and then i find a gold arcade coin and put it in and start playing and a dad in seats nearby kindof yells at me but i explain myself and we're ok, then i leave the theater and get lost and i have to go back up  a glass elevator to get back to the theater and then the movie is over and i missed it and everyone is leaving and i walk out of the theater in the crowd crying

                                                            day before;

austin rutledge comes over to my parents house and is upset about a movie, something, he leaves and im in my brothers room

multiple dreams/nights

two or so days ago- me and tyrone jones are in some kind of dollar store where he knows someone who works there and we can take whatever we want but some weird kind of deal like we have to eat it right away or carry it a long way and we both shit on the floor but not really shit on the floor just kind of wipe our butts on the floor and then when i look back later someone has mopped the area, i assume the guy he knows that works there...


last night- lindsay is pregnant and i am seeing it on facebook or somethin she is looking down at her stomach but still skinny
can't find frankas or he is ignoring me or being rude to me and i am upset with him

*lucid dreaming

I am freaked out knowing I am dreaming, lucid in the reality of dreaming

Woke up and ate pasta and chocolate cake early in the am (real time)

Feverish lucid dream nightmares I was struggling to wake up from, testing my dreams to know I was dreaming, knew I was dreaming and could not change dreams or seem to wake up for a long time

Looking for frankas and trying to tell him I was dreaming, something like drugs or alcohol getting involved, going to meet alvan or find frankas to go to the cat power show

Get to the cat power show and no one is there and I go outside, there are people there but not alvan or frankas, some Russian girl with blonde hair I am kind of in charge of

Leave the show and get stuck/lost in a food court, my mother is there

Forgetting about time or realizing its dream time which is different and realize I might be missing the cat power show

Get back to the cat power show and I've missed the whole thing and I am so upset and crying and devastated

Go in and it is like a rounded amphitheater seating with all permanent seating kind of like where neutral milk hotel played but smaller you can get right to the stage and cat power is there

She looks so happy and healthy and clean like a flower girl and she has just finished and is handing out some kind of flyer to people

I go up to near the front row and she hands me a poster flyer and touches my arm and says I am a special girl

I try to be happy and am happy and so happy to see her but still so upset I missed the show

Back outside to the food court my mother is there and the blonde Russian girl my mother is with some other people and is leaving I haven't eaten yet and it's all street food carts I see a cart selling perogies

And want a perogies, my mother gives me money and I get a perogies ( they also have big stuffed and fried habanero peppers which iwant to ask how much are they but don't and don't get one) 

There is a blonde guy who is at the perogies stand and starts talking about how insane it is the perogies cost 7 dollars a piece and it's only 200 calories and like drinking water to him

But the perogies is a giant perogies and I am eating it very slowly while he is talking to me and enjoying it immensely 

I remember I told therussian girl we would get a drinkir she wanted to get a drink and I wasn't sure if she meant an alcoholic drink or not, I don't get back to her before I wake up

When I wake up I am so glad thecat power show has not happened yet in real life I was trying together out of that dream for so long

One

I should have just enjoyed meeting her there

couple nights ago

going on a cruise with the whole family + rob potylo, first it is like a real big ship, cruise liner but then turns into smaller boats and like we take the big cruiser to the bay where we all get our own little boats, like a tropical island kind of place kind of like water world. no one will drive the boat so i start trying to drive it. then i see there are boats going around in a circle like they are learning how to boat and i am kind of driving wild around the area.

at some point we are all sleeping in a room it seems like and rob gets up off the floor where we are sleeping and goes to sleep on the couch.

(a few nights before or the same night as this)

i am looking for my riding helmet and can't find it anywhere and it feels like a very tragic situation!