i have a dream inside my dream or something of will wearing a ridiculous outfit. i am at a party with andrea mcgrath and we areupstairs in what looks like my brothers room but is supposed to be nathan morena's room, it is the three of us and some other kid with an afro? i think. me and andrea are sitting on the bed, there are more people downstairs. nathan morena and his friend are doing drugs. i just want to smoke pot but it seems like no one is going to smoke pot. i have my vyvanse prescription and only two pills left and im not trying to take them but somehow the last one gets wet and splits apart (maybe this is because of guilt over nanny having too many pills at once?) so i have to rol it up with rolling papers. i dont want them to see because they are doing so many drugs. i get a little bit fucked up but not as much as nathan and his friend who are makin g me very uncomfortable. andrea mcgrath just keeps laughing. finally i get downstairs and see a girl next to the counter who looks like beth except her eyes are like red exes but then she says my name and it really is beth. i am very relieved. shortly after that lindsay comes in and the three of us are going to go outside and smoke pot but THEN from the other corner of the kitchen wall walks over and he is wearing the outfit i dreamed of him wearing which is ridiculous, sortof like a bee costume with a striped shirt and bowtie and short shorts and then really big elfish banana yellow shoes. i go with him into a garage area where there is a line of desks and computers or something like that? hes either trying to show me something or we are trying to get it on. afterwards we leave and go somewhere else or its been a really long time and i feel bad for not returning to beth and lindsay.


i also dream at some point there is some cauliflower like root growing out of my stomach. i pinch part of it off.