we are in italy on the writing trip and we each have a murder mystery to solve but i'm not sure if its real or an excersize. we each have a set of suspects and victims from which to research and resolve the situation. i haven't done mine or have done it wrong. i don't really understand it. ed is sitting next to me on a plane or something and i'm pretending to sleep/ am sleeping and he touches my legs. then he is carrying me around by the legs and i am resting my hands on his shoulders. someone says that only the people who did the project right are getting called to read them or are having theirs read or something.

last three nights smushed together because i've been dreaming too much

i am on a trip with my parents, i see cliff peacock he is telling me what to do with my life, i forget what he tells me, somewhere i see the large hairy caterpillars a woman was talking about on npr the other day, i want to phone in and tell them that she wasn't mistaken, that the caterpillars really do have hair, short bristly hair. they are black and white. i am trying to find will at another point. i think i want to sleep with him. i can't find him. anson tells me he has read his horoscope in the city paper (scorpio) it advised him to giggle like a tipsy sagittarious. he sees all the same connections i thought of when i saw it. we have a good time together. we are alone. i dream i am living with nane in south boston. she is sitting at the chair nearest the porch in the kitchen. she is muttering to herself. chelsea gives me advice on something, i forget now. i see someone else, maybe bret lott.

night before last: pat and ricks house

i dream i am at ricks's parents house and my whole family is there. we have all come to see someone who is related to us in a play that they are in. not everyone can go it turns out. the house is huge and wierd. mary merrit is making a pasta salad and the first one she makes gets ash in it so she has to throw it out and make another one. i am in the kitchen and i accidentally drop a small blue bowl into the garbage disposal which is more like a wood chipper. i try to act like nothing happened but accidentally knock a girl who is holding the second pasta salad and she dumps the whole bowl over into the wood chipper and it disintegrates. it is sort of funy. then when i am in the living room i go to pull down a dvd from the ceiling and all the entertainment center stuff pulls down from the ceiling all around the room. i guess you are supposed to use a remote control to take down one thing at a time. ricks's dad comes in and fixes it. we decide we are going to leave instead of stayong for the play. it seems like no one really cares about the play. i'm not sure who was in it but it seemed like a distant cousin.

we are traveling italy by sea. we are somewhere and ancona is far away but no ships go there and you can only go by swimming. i am with another girl around my age and we are swimming. we start swimming toward acona in the middle of the night and i do not want to go. i would rather go during the day but we cant turn around. i think there is a shark. there is some kind of animal with a large fin rising out of the water. we also see dolphins.

2nd night back from spoleto, italy

i am on a trip woith my parents. i have bought a fish and somewhere i have gotten a large bird who sits on my shoulder and also a duck. i remember ive forgotten to feed them. we drive to the hotel where we have always stayed. i have a friend with me. i think maybe it is alex. my brother is there. when we get to the hotel we pass an aquarium and i think ill get worms to feed the birds there. my father drives onto the sidewalk and down the steps. at one point he careens off a staircase and i fall out of the backseat and fall onto a step where the ledge gets steeper and i almost fall off. half my belonging land on the step behind me and i have to stradle in between to get them but i am shaking and losing my balance. i start to cry. ken and kathy are there then and ken collects my things for me and makes aq comment. everyone thinks im a wussy for crying. when we get to the hotel we go to a movie. we are here for a family reunion which is in my parents backyard on south street and all my friends are there. chanel is sitting by the old climbing tree and she beckons me over to talk to her. i say ill be there in a minute and maria and someone else sit down next to her and start singing out of tune. i go to get a drink and end up going back to the hotel. i start to feel drunk. at the hotel i am in the bathroom and anson is there. we talk about how he and my brother get alo0ng and he goes into the other room and starts talking to erik. he says i can hear in your voice how we are alike with our anger or something but its not anger and then my brother replies that its something that begins with a b. then they get in some sort of argument. i think my parents like anson. i keep checking the bird on my shoulder to see if its still alive. i still havent fed it and realize its been four days. sometimes i forget it is on my shoulder but it is always on my shoulder.

i can sort of see this chart with all my grades in aq light red pencil. i squint at it and sort of try to look and try to not look at the same time. i think that one of the grades is maybe an F but it turns out its not i'm pretty sure. peacock is at a thing outside an art building. there are a bunch of graduate art students there. he is smoking a cigarette. someone starts talking about my graduation outfit and he starts asking about it. he says i hope it wasn't like a crucified bigot and i know he means maybe it looked like i was a KKK member but i told him it was more like a german toddler adult size and he laughed. later on we have to get ready for a class. john hull is gessoing canvases to paint. cliff says something about being serious and john hull says its different for him. i amcarrying three canvases that are this yellowish orange color. cliff is standing in the corner painting a large black crow with an orange background. he says meredith cant be upset by people because she outwits them and the same will be true for me. he is talking about meredeth trevino who is there somehow. outside earlier he makes fun of alex and does an impression of her.

there is a dog and when i put it on the table the colors of the table cloth change. i am in a family sort of situation in some house somewhere that reminds me of that house where there was a christening or something and a white couch and i went with my mom. later on i talk to anson's father on the phone. i forget why. he says something funny. it is a funny conversation. i'm afraid i may have accidentally hung up on him.