Will has put a picture of me and him on FAcebook and he calls me baby in it and I have blonde and pink hair, which he mentions.

I am looking through a bag of paper and collage bits and find two ten dollar bills and two five dollar bills.

Frankas thinks I am going to have Alzheimer's because I have messed with my memory. My mother asks me if he's torturing me.

I keep thinking back to the photo will put up. We are in a big banquet hall like hotel staying at this hotel, me and my whole family and getting ready to go to this big recital. Will is going to be in it. Maybe Frankas is going to be at it too. 

I am running around a big mall in the hotel putting on makeup and perfume to get ready for the show. It seems formal. I don't know what will happen or when I will run into who.

coriander and i are getting ready to go to new york. it happens very quickly. i dont have time to pack anything. and i forget my coat. i am worried it might be too cold but i just have a bunch of random stuff with me and not enough time to go through it. we are standing on the platform waiting for the train to new york. matt from dead trains is there. i guess we have some show opportunity last minute and are leaving for that. i am worried i left my coat and my pills in my coat and i dont know how long we are going to new york.

a train whistles like its coming in. coriander starts running and i follow her. we run up to another platform where we are going to catch the train and she runs on the train and i am running behind her but just as she gets on the train the door closes and the train leaves.

i am devastated. i dont know what to do. i have a phone but no one calls me.

i go up to the box office ticket window and the guy inside is mexican and seems like he doesn't speak. i ask him when the next train to new york comes and he holds up 7 fingers and i start to cry. he is smiling and then shakes his head like he is just kidding and holds up 2 fingers.

i keep waiting for the next train to come in a panic and feeling anxious.

February 1st

Me and Frankas are kind of moving into my parents house for some reason. Only my dad is there. We have all this stuff like for the photo booth but it's actually a studio setup. I set it up in the basement and my dad asks if I've done anything yet and I say no and then I remember I set the whole studio up in the basement and I tell him that and he is impressed. We are moving things in from the garage. It seems like some kind of holiday or vacation is going to happen. There are only a few beers In the garage and I open one. My dad is leaving for the gym. He says frank is drinking all his beers in a joking way. Then Frank is in the front seat of the minivan and my dad starts massaging his neck and shoulders and frank jumps up and four of the minivan. I think it was too much pressure for him. 

Something about robots figuring things out after we're gone or like we are material for robots and computers. Or the spaces in between our temporal existences are filled by computers with permanence. And robots.

January 28th and 30th

It's thanksgiving, weird thanksgiving in the woods somewhere, kind of like the table in hook with rufio and the lost boys. I have a horse that acts more like a dog. He is at the table. I feed him by hand. I have a trailer and the trailer is like a hangout and people can hang out in the trailer. Scooter boi is there. It is like a family gathering.

It changes from friend-family to my extended real family and the table and festivities are up in a tree house platform type of thing. Brandon and Christopher and Wendy and uncle Kenny are there. All the food is on one table and then the dining table is up on a raised platform in the tree.  I show up.

Will is there or not quite there and I am looking for him. I see him and he has a shaved head but it's like he can't see me. I go over to his house which is like his house but a tree house and there Is a little Christmas tree he made or something on the table which I recognize so I know it is his house. And his whole family is there for the holidays.

I am out in a muddy field then looking for a horse. Frankas is there and maybe scooter boi also. There is a horse. We find a golden retriever in the muck all covered in muck and maybe missing a leg. It looks like a muck monster. There must be some kind of muck storm going on thAt has covered up everything. In muck. It seems like the golden retriever would have died if we didn't find it.

Two days ago;

I am somewhere like a salon or some thing working for my mother and some other people and I leave to go get coffee and a few things for them--

I walk along a woodsy trail (kind of like walking through north Hampton when we went to happy jawbones house) and find a little River area and notice a baby manatee is sitting like a rock on the bank cause when he sees me he sinks back into the river.

I go to the edge of the bank and look for more animals. I start making a high pitched 'woot woot  whoop' noise at the wTers edge and dolphins and seals and manatees start to come up one by one and touch my hand with their noses and get pry and look happy and go back into the water. Then I hear something behind me. A gruff voice. I look behind me and there is a big black dog and then, for an instant - many big black dogs. Two dogs at each of my shoulders speak to me in a gruff voice and tell me not to call to the manatees or touch them. That they are diseased animals. I look back and I see the owner of the two dogs is talking to me through the dogs and it isn't really the dogs talking. I scold him for doing is to me and trying to scare me.

Go to my pa rents house with Frankas. Leslie and mike just had a baby and they come over with carol and Andy and Keith also comes over. I guess Erin already had a baby too. And this is Leslie's second baby. She doesn't look fat. The baby looks like a little tiny Maltese puppy and crawls around in the floor like one. The other baby looks like a bigger Maltese puppy. There is nothing human about them but we know they are babies. Frankas is very moody and does not really talk to anyone. My mom is kind of mad and bitchy and saying how we should act with one another and wanting me to do things for her. There is a lot of food bring prepared. I accidentally eat a piece of ham which I think is salmon and spit it out. 

Leslie tells me they are vacationing in Honda. Upstairs on my parents bed with Leslie and mike and Frankas and the puppy baby.

Then it seems like everyone left and I didn't notice or something. Leslie is gone I think. I take the Honda Civic and start driving to Honda. 

I drive way past Boston and way lady Honda I think. I finally stop somewhere and go into a restaurant and everyone is talking another language and it looks kind of Mexican Jewish, dark native people. I pee in a weird stall with a toilet that is right next to the dining tables. There is wall to wall carpeting.

I ask the girl at the cashier if I'm far from Honda and she asks me if I am rearranging or going there and says I'm not far. A map on the wall shows where I am and if I go backwards I can go to Honda. If I keep going forward I get to the United States and then to Israel.