12/10/2017

with will, find him somewhere see him somewhere like a family or a friend gathering, holding him hugging him & can feel that, some small knowing 

11/27/2017

Going to Germany with maria martin and Danielle brutto…

First I am looking at maria’s facebook page and it has a long paragraph written and then some of her ‘long shot’ photos…my name is tagged in the long paragraph description… it is something about how she once thought she was going to be a photographer or pursue photography but isn’t anymore…

We end up going on this trip to Germany and my mother is there and Danielle brutto also comes with us… there is something like mcdonalds everywhere…we go to the first hostel we see and it is actually a school and it is something like $3 a night to stay there and all the food is free

We decide we will stay here one night and then go somewhere else

There is a big cafeteria and many common rooms.

When we leave we are on this odd train that zips around , brings us somewhere to get a ‘sandwich in a bag’ for $1… I am asking what is in the sandwich to make sure it isn’t meat…

Turns out the main thing in the sandwich is buttered pecans

The second hostel isn’t as good and we can’t find a hostel like the first one… the train takes us from the first hostel to the buttered pecan sandwiches and back 

11/24/2017

go to ginas to ride horse, or some other place actually... somewhere where i've been told there is a very large indoor arena...or i find this out.... it is somewhere up on a hill where people have been telling me they are going with someone to ride horses, there is some friend with horses there. margot littlehale is coming down from the hill and saying i can go there maybe. when i go there is a large indoor arena and more than one horse but it is also maybe ginas. there are several of us riding horses.

after the horses or this turns into a rich girls  chateua-like apartment / club consisting of herself and some other girls and then she also has a boyfriend. the boyfriend reminds me of travis friend john from brooklyn. maybe the chateau is like his condo in brooklyn.

i am standing next to travis and looking at him and he turns into or looks like scottkitchen. i am questioning who he is and how i really know him.

something is going on between the club of girls and the boyfriend and the chateau apartment. i'm really not sure how i got involved at all, but i feel like the boyfriend is maybe my friend. i don't know any of the girls very well. but i end up sitting with them at a fancy table and now maybe this is somewhere else.

maybe this is like an art gallery, a very large one, something like an art museum the size and scope of an aquarium. and there is something about us going into business or being able to put on some kind of  big lavish events here, i'm not sure. i am sitting at the table thinking how strange and lucky it is i've gotten involved in this girls club with all this money and all this power from trying to ride a stranger friends horse... they are also somehow involved in the fashion world. they seem interested in me and im not totally sure why.

at some point i am outside the house i think with the boyfriend at night and he is slightly drunk or locked out or looking for cigarettes. i feel as if some secret information might be revealed. maybe only that there is some sense of dischord.

i am with someone then maybe supposed to be like my boyfriend but who in my  mind now looks like dave from  the firehouse , we are involved somehow and we have this baby bull dog puppy and we are walking down these sidewalks that are in between grassy areas, away from any streets (this is also the type of area i was with the boyfriend from the chateau outside before)

there is some kind of argument maybe over what to feed the dog. i am holding it in my arms and it is so lazy on its back like a puddle and so cute. there is some kind of mexican restaurant, and this barely makes sense, but there is some kind of mexican lace like we could go to eat there but instead dave opens bags of chips and salsa pours onto the sidewalk and there are two other people there then too and we eat the chips and salsa off the sidewalk and this way it is free for some reason.

11/26/2017

on some kind of job site and my job is like av mixed with the magazine kids from the movie americasn honey (which i watched all of in the middle of the night at frankas)

lars is the head tech or whatever in charge kind of somehow , its also kind of like were at a party-

he comes around yelling at me says he doesn't like me says, he never wants to be with me

it feels very real

but its a lot like american honey

8/8/2017

8/8/2017

RIGHT BEFORE I WAKE UP-

Pulling up to this town center (not norwell) with my mom and shes yelling kinda about how she always has to wash my pants and I wear so many pairs of pants a day, out of nowhere, - in the middle of the street there are two long wood tables with different ice cream places giving out samples, cold stone creamery is one, she is taking me to a restaurant I work ar so I can change into a lime green simple sleeveless dress (like that red one ive had forever)

Something about you wear your clothes like linen or make a mess like linen/ something like a song lyric

I am saying how we need another house in Cohasset because we just got stuck in some townie traffic

Before this I dream this whole movie

With Allison Williams she comes down to this chamber, it’s a sci fi like thing, and all these girls are living or going to school in this very sterile chamber habitat and there is something white and glowing in long drawers like you might put one long cadaver in and allsion Williams comes down one morning at the beginning of the movie and doesn’t say anything but sits on a bench in the chamber where the long glowing thing is kept and one of the headmasgter women is there and then she cuts her hand seemingly without cutting it on anything and bleeds out and dies and there is one picture still image of her holding a headband and bleeding and her eyes are wide and shes about to die, but she never says anything but we know she knew something before her death

Somehow I knew Allison Williams was going to die in the beginning of the film but the whole thing seems very real and I start sobbing in the dream and make myself wakeup

Lena dunham is in the future school to and the movie continues with her opening the cabinet and going into the white glowing stuff and inside of the white glowing stuff is purple hard stuff like memory and something has to happen with this this way not sure what

There was a tiger in a cage. I was at some abandoned kind of zoo or something in the woods, maybe in Italy . Bright orange tiger but covered in dirt.

3/8/2017

I am taking some kind if business opportunity, there is a job available to me where I can go wherever I want in the world. I consider going to Istanbul. It is like I am looking at a 3D map of the world zooming from one place to another. Somehow I decide to go to New York City and I take a train there. I arrive at this hotel type place and there is an empty room with white tile floor and two sinks. This is my room. It's like a mix between a hotel and apartment building. There is a small window & I imagine falling asleep to the sounds of the city. I notice I am getting the floor dirty. I am happy to be here.

3/6/17

i am at some high school reunion & scott kitchen is trying to hit on me or something , there is some kind of weird connection. then, even weirder i am seriously thinking of hooking up with jason tedeschi , when i wake up i realize who i was naming jason tedeschi in my dream was actually kyle laffin.

it makes more sense?


i am walking around a high school/ middle school school ground, gravel parking lot in the dark and finding lots of great rusted metal pieces. i have all this stuff in my car (even more than real life) and even more stuff i have to take care of throw out or take somewhere.

it is overwhelming

3/7/2017

john hopper maccallum shows me  a 'video' of paige in an asian orgy . i look at her and she sees me looking and pulls out of the scene and puts me in a pool where i start swimming.

i am with frankas and he is drunk , we are at the space then we are at my parents place. i am asking hin to make love to me, we dont.

i am observing frankas jenny and karen zanes doing a song in room 3 at emf