i think its chip-- its like ive moved back to charleston but my whole life's been mixed up there. everyone is from everywhere. we are trying to find booze-- wine? i end up hanging out with max- and only max? i remember thinking of course it would be always max i can depend on always. then its chip i think, maybe i own a mansion. its chip but its not supposed to be chip. i can't remember his name.

somehow i get involved with jimmy fallon. it is something like we go on a trip and he is there and i meet him and sortof tell him i am in love with him and then he is in love with me too. his mother is there. we keep walking around in a big group. jonathan might be there too. i am aware that i am supposed to be involved with someone else, maybe will. when we first get there he has a girlfriend but she is really young, like 16, and not that smart so I don't feel too bad about taking jimmy away from her. we may be at an amusement park. me and jimmy fallon are connected at the hip and never seperate from one another. we make out a lot. he thinks all the things i think are funny and he is so fun and cheerful to be around. i really think we are in love. in the morning some number calls me with a 917 area code (real life) and i think it is probably jimmy calling me and go back to sleep. at the end of the dream i have gotten my period somehow or am bleeding and i've gotten blood all over everything and i am terrified that jimmy and everyone is going to find out and am thinking how i can clean everything up. then i remind myself this couldn't possibly be real and i don't need to deal with it because its a dream. i think i woke up after that.

i dream that the end of my medication is black instead of blue.

i remember rolling joints, i think with lindsay, and they were really big and all marajuana, not tobacco. the weed all rolled together and formed one long weed-stick that looked like play-doh. then i was with jared charzewski and he had some kid with him and i think maybe i had someone with me. we took some sort of drug like oycontin or something, a strong kind of pill, and jared told the kid to relax and enjoy his high and save the rest of it for later. i'm not sure what happened with me and jared.

i am tripping shrooms at some point and someone tries to makes me drink orange juice but i don't want to...i decide orange juice and vitamin c in general are bad for me...my parents have bought a new house, they never told me they were selling our old house, and i am staying at nane's but i am supposed to be moving to another part of nane's house which is like an attached building but my mom never showed me where the entrance and locks were. i end up at my parents new house and they are really mean to me and i end up drinking a lot of red wine and getting in my car and pretending to drive to nane's but really i drive to charleston. i get to charleston and stop at a bar which in the dream is vickery's but looks more like upper deck. i go around the corner and stand in front of a table where andrea (michaels brodericks friend) is sitting talking to someone. i think the stairs are behind her but they're really in the next room. i walk over to where they really are and anson comes out of a group of people and says hey. i'm not sure if we hug. he asks me if i have been "blacking" a lot lately which means tanning and i say no and go to the bathroom. there is black makeup all over my face because i had been sobbing all the way there, so i clean myself up. me and anson walk outside and are talking. we get into a u-haul which i guess is his car. then i can see in the rearview that megan has just gotten there and is out front at vickery's. anson jumps out of the car. i already know that theyre back together. i just sit there but at some point i draw some stuff and leave something for anson on the pavement of the parking lot...then they come out together into the parking lot like they're going somewhere and megan opens the driver's door of the u-haul like she is going to get in but anson yells something and she doesn't. the whole time she doesn't even turn her head so she doesn't see me but it seems strange that she wouldn't. i run out after that and hop from stone to stone back to where my car is and i know anson is watching me leave. after that i take the car and go to the beach (there is a period where ive left something in these peoples backyard and i end up in a pond of ducks and the lady of the house comes outside). at the beach i see john and we get high but when he comes i am sort of levitating because i had read if you jump up higher and stay calm you come down slower. then when he gets there i show him how i am jumping up so high and i start floating upward only i can't control it anymore and i keep getting higher and then at some point it seems like its too high and i get scared and then something happens, i forget exactly what, but the fear goes away.

don't remember the details but...chad abushanab was there, something about poetry, chanel gordon had adult braces and was pretty insecure about it, sharon put the cat litter box in front of my door but also laughed about it....mmmm

i am in the car with chelsea. chelsea is driving. she is telling me how she heard i orgasmed immediately and i say, who told you that? and she says alex and of course i already knew it was alex. and then she says she heard i like this and i say what and i say don't listen to anything that girl says and complain how i can't tell alex anything. chelsea holds up a red vibrator instead of saying the word vibrator (how quaint) and i get mad about how alex takes things i say and twists them and then tells them to people...but then i get woken up by sharon who tells me the cat just pissed all over my grandmother's bed!! agh!

maria asks me if i want to go to see the celtics play their first playoff game, she has two tickets. i say yes and start trying to et dressed but hate everything i put on and it takes a really long time and we almost miss the bus. bus? yes. we are going to the celtics game on a bus and then it is sort of like the italy trip. we get to where the bus station sort of is and its like a whole area. there is a cold stone creamery and beth is working there. she wants me to work there too and i say no way i am not going back to coldstone but she tells her manaer or whatever that i used to work there and somehow gets me on the shift immediately. a pudgy guy asks me for something like a 'cookies and cream' which i think is sweet cream ice cream with oreos and whipped cream and fudge. so i make it for him and try to give it to him but he says its not what he ordered at all. after that i leave the cold stone (which is more like an open-air kiosk than a regular store) and start walking toward where i think the bus is. on the way i run into carol ann who is carrying a carton (like a whole carton, 20 packs) of either camel wides or camel unfilters (that dark brown orangey packaging) she says she has been craving that kind of cigarette but isnt going to smoke all of them and that i can take a pack or a half pack later if i want and not to tell anyone. i say oh oh i mean thats ok, but really i do want a pack because i have no cigarettes and i don't have any money to buy them either and i don't want to have to bum off maria. carol ann goes off into a doorway and when she comes back out all these people are carrying boes of free stuff over to long folding tables and i think maybe carol ann is holding a megaphone. people swarm the tables to get the free stuff. i remember about the nba game and try to go to find maria. carol ann knows about it too and i think maybe she is going. somehow i think i have missed the bus and garret davis pulls up in a minivan or an suv. i think he is going to take me to the bus, there are 2 or three other people in the car. i ask carol ann for a pack of cigarettes and she gives me one. i wonder if she wants to smoke cigarettes because peacock smokes and because i do. then garrett lets me in the passenger side door and i hold on to the seatbelt or something and before i close the door he starts driving. he drives around crazy as if he is trying to fling me from the car but i hold tight onto the seatbelt or whatever and finally he comes to a screeching halt. he says something along thelines of don't tell anyone about that but i can tell that this was some kind of rite of passage and that he was testing me and that he was glad i held on. i also think how easy it was to hold on and how everything is really a choice and i knew and he knew that i could just choose to hold on and if i had fell off i would have been choosing to fall off.