I Am remembering the movie '7 year itch' in my mind only I realize it's not the movie 7 year itch I'm thinking of its a different movie with Marilyn Monroe and I can't quite think of it and every time I try to remember it it feels like a nightmare is closing in on me, I think I a with frankas at first maybe, but I am going over to john hoppers to do something with this movie or to talk about it. Almost like I am on the set of this movie where something terrible happened to Marilyn Monroe. And we are trying to make a remake. But the nightmare keeps coming over me when I try to think of the 7 year itch and I keep half waking up and checking that frankas is there with me and he is and then remembering that the movie I'm thinking of isn't the 7 year itch because I know how the 7 year itch goes and it's not a nightmare... I finally get into the project of redoing some film in this area that has the Marilyn Monroe nightmare with John hopper....we are shooting things through the subway... Glass windows and out of sequence....sort of a film noir kind of thing....then we are editing it all together on the subway and John hopper is making an event and inviting people to come see the film. No one comes but they see it on Facebook and I get upset because I think people are coming. 

I leave the subway and run into my cousin Leslie and tell her about the horrible filming and she reassures me and I end up taking a plane with her to New York. When we get To New York near where her apartment is we grab our stuff and jump out the side of the plane and are falling together for a long time and Leslie seems cool with it so I stay calm, we move our legs through the air and start slowing floating down when we get near her porch and land in her outdoor porch. Erin is there and so is uncle Andy and he has a new girlfriend a nerdy bookish looking woman. Carol is there and she has a new boyfriend and he is kind of nervous character thin and interested....she says sometimes she likes him and sometimes she just hates him...and that she turns very quickly....she has some kind of antisocial disorder or something she says and she doesn't like him very quickly and maybe is not sure if she likes him at all.

I hook up with Jonathan and we go over to Sara silks house. She is wearing kind of tie dye leggings and a black shirt. I am telling him about the movie and how I'm not sure how it turned out and how frustrating it was and am also just realizing it is on Facebook in segments so maybe people are liking it somewhere and we can see it. Sara  has lots of picture of her going to different events. I ask her if she's ever jumped out of a plane and floated down to her balcony, I say I think it's in alphabet city. She says she has. She says something about cycling or fitness or something she's doing and I say how I am no good at that stuff and she says ' you are good at a lot of things' and it makes me feel better.

amy shumer is in town and she has been texting me... things like pictures of her with a thought bubble coming out of her head and some of my birds in the thought bubble...

i realize and text her back and talk to her about going to the middle east. i realize we were supposed to go together last week but i didn't show up.

i meet up with her and bring her into a room where frankas and someone else is and introduce her. then we are at some kind of comedy club kind of backstage and i find tyrone there and someone else, a girl, maybe sam j.

i am thinking of what jokes i am going to do and trying to think of a joke to do for amy, kind of about amy...i am thinking i will do elmo and the tiniest hand job and i can't think of what to do next. i realize she really wants to go to the middle east though and its reassuring but i want to do well. i remember her saying she bombed a lot and try to think of something genuine i could just try out.

in another part of the dream i am in some kind of math class and in the math class we are making a water ecosystem in a dark room. there is a big tank of water with plant life growing all around it in the center of the room and you can walk all the way around the tank.

there are eels and fish and little miniature dolphins in the tank. i pick up one of the dolphins out of the water and it turns into one of those sponge grow-a-sponge things that gets bigger when you put it in the water. but when it is in the water it is a real miniature dolphin and it swims around.

i realize they make this whole ecosystem for the math class every semester and i start wondering what they do with all ther animals and everything after each semester.

night before last

night before last- i saw sara silk on the street in boston and went with her somewhere and was running into people i knew and we both knew, i was at some kind of art warehouse type thing that i think we were in control of, antonia there, other people, i think we were having some kind of event.

last night frankas dreamed we were being chased around by a corrupt cop and lawyer, inside, outside, and they were shooting at us. it culminated at a liquor store we must have gone in and the cop and lawyer showed up and then frankas woke up. we did not get shot. before that he dreamt we were moving carly's furniture and there were all these bed bugs that came out and he was trying to kill the bed bugs.

December 11th 2015

Francesca Antonia

A big warehouse type space where everyone from emf and beyond is there doing something

Perez Ricardo wants to know why I'm nice to him and why I treat him he way I do- I hear him talking to me from behind and I know he is pushing a shopping cart

Terence is here too there is some kind of comedy fight going on, someone has changed the tile in one of the big rooms of the wArehouse and I notice

Dave trees art is there

I have a car and Francesca villa comes in during the comedy fight and dissolves it somehow she gets in my car and I am giving her a ride before that she is sitting next to me and I ask her if she went to Antonia's wine party and she said no in her way it was ok she was watching some kangaroo show which I somehow know is a cartoon

We get in the car and i tell her it's ok even if she doubts me I feel I will prove myself to her eventually and am going to tell her about being the third and oldest villa to my surprise but see maybe she is about to cry and then she gets out of the car

Someone takes my car and iam looking around for it and upset, something has changed once the warehouse is outside

Before this I go to Sara silk and Lisa barons apartment and have a glass of wine and they are doing something there having some kind of party or something very glad I came and interested in me but the party is wrapping up too and I leave

When I lose the car I also lose a motorcycle I had somehow and iam walking around the outside warehouse area and I hear jonand kaz and people and then I see Jon and some people I the hallway and give him a long hug, I don't know what they are doing,no kaz, then I walk outside and I see kaz by the side of a building

In frankas dream there were baby badgers and they were biting at his feet and legs, they didn't quite bite. It did not hurt. He was stuck in the driftscape he says, other than that, as far as he remembers. 

I remember rp saying something to me across a table, some kind of translation barrier.

First meeting up with Jonathan in New York, we are going to some place like maybe an aquarium or something, someplace where the cafe outside has really great she'll macaroni and salad Jonathan says. We are taking the subway and when we go to get off there is a kind of hospital burlap fabric lip coming off the subway train which you are supposed to step on before you step on the platform outside and you can see how far up we are in between the fabric lip and the platform. I get petrified of the height and fall to the ground. Jonathan gingerly steps off the train. I have to crawl off on all fours and one we get on the platform I am leaning with my arms on the rail and not wearing glasses and realize if I pushed off I would fall all the way down, probably to my death. What is going on with the subways in New York?

We get down to the food court and there are already made cups of juice with alfalfa sprouts in them in a vertical row like flowers might be placed in a metal wire holder. We go to a table and I guess Jonathan has already been here and order the macaroni and salad and he gives me his leftovers.

Then I am meeting up with Sarah Lyle. She comes and meets me at the food court. I ask her about her marriage which I almost forget about since she is in New York. She says she's broken up with him so many times since they got married and says I never liked him anyway. I say I do like him. I ask her why I wasn't invited to the wedding and she gets quiet and upset about that. We talk about her family and remember all the time we spent in her house and where we slept. I see some video of Vanessa and she is a little girl still but there is a littler girl with brown hair and I don't know who she is, she's like a replacement character to the Lyle family like its the Cosby show when I'm watching it, and then a child version marykate Olsen interrupts with a hula hoop. They are all performing.

Sarah and I go on some kind of ride like a roller coaster and then are hanging out in some kind of outdoor pen and these guys come in humans but they are actually some kind of advance bird that acts and looks like a dumb human and they all drop out the other side of the pen like penguins after we say things to them and they act dumb.

We go to Laura garveys house and some other people from high school are there also and talking about how Laura is and how Laura's mom is cool I guess. Laura's mom comes home and changes in front of everyone, gets naked, but puts something else on and then is playing with the dog. I think we were talking about how uptight Laura is and her mom is totally different. I like her mom and we start playing together, she pours everyone white wine and we go in the pool, turn things into a party.

Then at alvans house and his house is a lux apartment all white. We are sitting on sofas talking and then Laura garveys mom shows up. Alvan says he doesn't have the wine. I guess every time Laura's mom shows up she pours white wine for everyone. She says she brought some and I say I will help her  get the glasses but I go to the bathroom first.

Marilyn Manson is at alvans house I guess and we end up in another room with him. He and I are really hitting it off and he is pretty into me. He starts hitting on me and wants to hook up right there. I am attracted to him but not hooking up with him. Sarah Lyle and maybe Katie baker are both there. They tell him that I have a boyfriend. He is very tall.

Right before I wake up- talking to Alyssa Richardson and Kathryn Tajiks about lacrosse, we are wearing all lacrosse gear and goggles and like we've gone through some kind of time zone change into lacrosse zone, like we stepped into a dugout in time and are now standing here about to play lacrosse I guess

Before that I am walking fast around in a circle like a kind of outdoor pavilion with lots of other people walking around it to and I am with Mariah Carey and we are singing all these Mariah Carey songs super loud and walking around in the circle

I am in an empty studio warehouse type thing, these big rooms in a basement and I guess they are supposed to be rooms at emf, I have boxes of all my stuff that I have to go through and move, I am starting to move the boxes when little soprano who used to be in scooter boi's rooms upstairs comes in. I guess these used to be his rooms, he has still been kicked out of the building but he has a key still and he comes in and starts talking about how there's all these rich kids here with rooms that never come and use them and people like him and me used our rooms....kind of complaining that he got kicked out and snooping around and asking questions and he won't leave...at first it's ok but then he won't leave and I have to go through all this stuff...and then a bunch of people come in with a cake and singing happy birthday, I forget exactly who, and I realize it's my birthday and this was why I was trying to get all the stuff put away and I get stressed out and am upset with little soprano.

travis and i are on tour. maybe someone else is with us also. someone is there when we get there, maybe jacki maynard, she is so excited that we are there and running around and wants to go next door. i guess we have played here before.

right before i wake up there is this other band playing in ernie paulins room, i think out of speakers and they are singing "somethin something something, SON,  well im the devil on the run" and i am thinking this song and this band is so good and wishing i wrote this song (although maybe i did)

we drive to the venue in a car and it is far away, maybe austin texas and we meet up with ernie paulin who we are staying with. the venue is one room that seems less like an actual venue and more like a dark empty room with no chairs and it is connected to a bar. i am drinking during the performance.

afterwards we are at ernie paulins and i notice which i noticed before he has long black scraggly hair, but at his apartment i see his hair on the sofa and realize its a wig. he is ranting about who is taking care of me? and all this stuff as if i need a babysitter or something, very brotherly like but tongue in cheek. i am eating cheetos out of my backpack and remembering i have a piece of pizza somewhere which i have been saving and thinking i should eat it. i am sitting on the floor in this dark room of his apartment and travis is on the couch. i keep asking him questions and he is acting like he cant be bothered but he is very manic like pacing around and funny. i ask him how many people live in the house? he says 17. he says he knew i forgot something while i was performing because i was drinking. i said i didnt forget anything. travis loks delighted at ernie. it is almost like a blacklight room. he goes up to the wall at some point and touches this wooden block that has something printed on it and is sticking out of the wall. the wood block wiggles like it is made out of sensitive flimsy rubber. i want to investigate it but i don't get up. i decide i will check it out later. then the song comes on (i can see the band in my mind but i am still in the room).

then my birth control alarm goes off

Frankas Antonia and I go to an event at this place that she knows, some kind of educational facility, we go and sit at a table. Frankas is dressed up like a woman wearing a kind of a garden party outfit. we are sitting at the table and i notice some blood on his face. then i notice his nose is bleeding and i tell him and he leaves. i forget what happens at the party after that,

either i leave and com back or i never leave. you walk into this place and it seems like they are always serving some kind of sponge loaf of bread. i think maybe i went first with antonia and they had the sponge bread and then we came back with frankas.

when we are leaving their is a kind of woody academic looking hall of sorts with pews in it where people go through or stay in on their way in or out. artie lange comes in and everyone is greeting him. he is kind of a midget with a gigantic head, normal looking but gigantic like a bobble head and lots of hair and not that fat just a midget. and he is looking at us and is friends with everyone at this academy. i see him there more than once.

i go back again alone and up a set of stairs and it is a class going on, i just participate in the class very easily. one time we are watching a movie that could be described as 'magical realism' there is a boy and a horse that explodes into cigars and i am forgetting the plot but it was very loose.

i go back again and the teacher had passed out a one page pamphlet writing type thing for everyone to read before the class, i don't have one so i turn around to leave and she follows me out into the hall. i ask her if she has any extra papers but she says no. she shows me the paper and i realize its some kind of propaganda poster related to that movie we watched with the little boy and the horse.

antonia shows up looking different a few times.

i go back again and there are two girls at a table kind of like a cafeteria table. another time i am eating the sponge cake or whatever and there is one girl with blonde hair kind of like dana and i guess this place or a nearby place outside this place is a music school. i have the vague idea that we are still in boston. a man comes up out of nowhere and he sounds like ryan douglass but he is a little bit older man and he is coming to talk to dana and tell her how  great her music is and how special he thinks it is and how she should play her guitar out on the street and get students for music lessons and play the students her music. he is saying this stuff to her and she just acts very clearly creeped out by him. she says "you seem really happy" in a kind of petrified kind of way...

then later at the table i am asking one girl about the school, also with long blond hair but a different girl. and she says she's been going there for a long time and I'm asking her about how do they teach and what she remembers and she is trying to think of what she remembers the most and her mannerisms are kind of funny and me and the girl next to me are kind of laughing at that in an inclusive way.

then there is a big food serving, and i guess this is what we're all waiting for, becuas we've just been at the table talking about the school and an older woman comes in and asks whats going on and someone says we have a sub or something today so then they bring out this hot pasta and stuff and put it in the other room.i goto get some and am preparing a great bowl which i misplace.

travis shows up here and is annoying somehow I'm not sure what he does but i end up kicking him and hitting him and every time i do he complains very loudly and says his shoulder is broken and says how hurt he is but also like he's encouraging me to hit him and just wants to show the other people there how hurt he is by me and i am trying to show them what a liar he is and a scape.

when i look for my food bowl it has been almost eaten, one of the other students points at it and i can see its been eaten and they say some little kid came in and ate it so i am trying to re-prepare the food bowl.

a kind of a screen play going on where i play a character played by elisabeth shoe and nicholas cage is involved.... it seems to start out in this 'whole foods' that is a barn and attached to some new age museum downtown and inside the whole foods is also an exotic pet store but it is hard to get into the exotic pet store part...

when i get in there finally (and maybe i am elisabeth shoe) louis ck is in there too and looking at the animals... there is one animal that looks like a miniature blue koala bear... it comes with its own backpack and seems to roll around on the floor a lot...

i try to convince louis ck that we should buy this animal together

(is this the whole gist of the screenplay?)


things turn into a trip in italy we are on, me and maybe julia or someone that kind of seems like julia and lorne michaels i know because i keep saying lorne michaels because i start yelling about my shoulder and leave the group trip on my bicycle and I'm flying down highways in italy on my bicycle and i know i've been there before and I'm saying that someone told me on the plane that i had dislocated part of my shoulder to a certain part and i am crying to lorne about it.

i am looking at the shoulder on an x ray at where the skin and meat has sunk beneath the bone,
when i wake up.

i am in a large supermarket that almost seems like the part of the cofc buildings where snap is located and student services, and is served to riverside community care... i know because i am in the spine between the supermarket and what must be riverside community care behind a set of glass doors because gail is on her phone outside the doors and i can tell she is working

i am looking for something in the grocery store...

i have to go back to the tank and when i get in the tank there are a couple of black rapper guys who i guess are watching the tank...alvan is not around...it appears things have been infiltrated by rappers...

will comes into the tank and i am thinking i will explain everything to him but i'm too busy with what i've got to do in my mind and i don't really talk to him, i guess it kind of seems like i'm ignoring him for some reason

but he is there, shows up, wearing a pink shirt, wearing a blue checkered shirt

*saw marykate and ashley olsen on the street in central square, talking to one another, me seeing them as if omniscient third party, marykate talking about/doing something with her hair, remember realizing it was them and being surprised at how human they were

^just now remembering this after seeing online article that ed burroughs posted saying marykate got married (with katie baker in the tank)