I am with Will and I don't know how or where I find him but we are together like we are morphing into one almost. He is sweet and innocent and loves me. We are cradling each other. I feel happy and warm. It is more love than sexual.

Someone is trying to make me do something like write something down in a workbook of sorts or go through a workbook maybe but I know its already been done or is all messed up inside. It is me and someone else. I knew before but I forget now.

I wake up and Sharon is in my grandmother's room crying and hysterical because the sheets are wet and the alarm keeps going off and I guess she lives in the apartment with us and sleeps in the other room. I realize its my fault because I didn't change the sheets when I knew they were wet and I tell her I'll take care of it and she leaves.

I am reading a letter I've kept folded up without reading from Maria saying how much shes going to miss me when I leave Charleston and I read it and try to send her a text saying how much I miss her but it all just comes out as little squares running over one another. This happens when we are walking through a sort of back field summer camp where everyone is asian and they are all playing baseball or riding bikes or skipping and are wearing baseball caps and stuff. I think maybe sara silk is there. I go over to a creek and am trying to walk on the big stones near the edge. what seems like the head asian camp counselor starts yelling at me. I am trying to jump across on a little stick thats only part in the water. Then she comes over and I think she jumps across.

Before this I think I am in an airport and we are trying to go to Jaqueline Hall's house for this party. I need to get in touch with Lindsay but we get split up at some point but this is later on a bus because she has to get off at a different stop than me but I think I am worried about her being better friends with everyone or maybe she is supposed to help out. I think we both are but don't or it seems like we are underage because at the party we have to pay a few bucks for the two leftover beeers in the fridge (but there are more unopened beers in the back).

At the airport I get out and there is this guy who walks next to me and starts talking to me. I am not in a great mood because I think I am worried about the party with Lindsay. I am wearing a long black dress that is sort of stretchy and clingy- not to the floor. He rides next to me on the escalator andd he talks the whole time. He is saying how he knows I probably think I don't want to talk to him and all that but how he would be a great person for me and stuff like that. He is odd and entertaining and I don't say anything because he just keeps talking. He is no one that I've seen or met before. We go into one part of the airport once we leave the terminal where it seems like there is a wraparound bar and all they make are different kinds of slurpees in these flat top square spinny machines. We leave there and go over to this other place which is a real bar and before I sit down he has already ordered two beers which are short guinesses and come with little chalots (i think about how whoever said that guiness isnt vegan) so i pour in the guiness and drink it and am talking to him at first and then girls i know start to come over and i end up talking to them. then sara silk comes over and she is talking to the two girls i am with who seems to be better friends with her than i am which maakes me feel strange in a way and wish i was better friends with sara still. Her neck is long and sort of veiny and i think about how she looks like a mini adult - sara or like the blonde woman in modern family in a way.

At another part Uncle Andy comes in and it is 7 am and he is banging around in the kitchen. This must have happened after I got up and gave Nane her meds because I am confused why he is upset but it seems obvious that it is at me. So I show him the log and tell him I've already given her her meds at 6 and that I got back on time last night and put her to bed. He is still very upset and my grandmother is up at the table and he gives her some milk. I ask him if he gave her her meds again because I think maybe that is why he is trying to feed her but he says no. I leave the room and when I come back in I have just heard a loud noise and it seems like hes shot through a book of piano sheet music that I had. He tells me how things are going to be around here and is apparently upset at my having fun and/or interests. He wants these things to stop he says.

*Another thing happened on the bus which made it seem sort of more like a "college bus" where before I had thought it was more of a "high school bus" because of what was happening...There was this girl on the bus and she was giving a speech on the bus because she had been chosen to and she was just sortof reciting it out the window by herself but everybody was listening and I guess this is what she was supposed to be doing. Anyway she was starting off about how she at first felt it was so important for her to be taking this medication because she really felt like she had a sharper grasp on her intellect on this medication and it helped her to be in a certain state "rhymed with humour" at which point everyone laughed and seemed to know what she was talking about but i couldn't understand what it was and then i figured out it was "tumour" and then the whole speech turned out to be her talking about recovering from her brain tumour and stuff (i'm not sure if this ever or how it did follow back to the part about medication which i was actually interested in). Anyway, I began to realize who she was and how I knew her and why she really annoyed me (because she did). She seemed sort of like Danielle's friend who I met breifly and who she lives with who used to be anorexic and is rich but in the dream I realized that she was some girl who worked at The Halsey and I figured she only got to work at The Halsey and give this speech on the bus because she had this brain tumour that didn't kill her. It was a sort of a negative way to feel I guess but there you go,

*very strange i think in dream terms that someone should say "that thing that rhymes with humour and I am the only one who can't figure it out even though I am the one having the dream...although I did eventually get it

I am dreaming to whats going on on NPR,

there is something about beach erosion. Someone in the interview on t.v. says "If it comes between me going to get my snickers and then going to the beach and the sand is too hot, then I'm just gonna get my Snickers and go"

(I remember the news piece on the sand at southie beach being "too hot")

I am at my parents house I guess which is nothing like my parents house and more like a log cabin. The living room is the same but there is an attic. At one point I see my Mom in the attic sleeping sort of face down on the floor and she has one arm over Edna and Edna is sleeping the same way. I talk to her and tell her the big special is going to be on and she sort of looks up at me and so does Edna, and then she goes back to sleep with her head on the floor and so does Edna.

Uncle Gene is there and I watch my Dad and Uncle Gene both watching the t.v. and they both have the same sort of forlorn expression on their faces.