we are traveling italy by sea. we are somewhere and ancona is far away but no ships go there and you can only go by swimming. i am with another girl around my age and we are swimming. we start swimming toward acona in the middle of the night and i do not want to go. i would rather go during the day but we cant turn around. i think there is a shark. there is some kind of animal with a large fin rising out of the water. we also see dolphins.

2nd night back from spoleto, italy

i am on a trip woith my parents. i have bought a fish and somewhere i have gotten a large bird who sits on my shoulder and also a duck. i remember ive forgotten to feed them. we drive to the hotel where we have always stayed. i have a friend with me. i think maybe it is alex. my brother is there. when we get to the hotel we pass an aquarium and i think ill get worms to feed the birds there. my father drives onto the sidewalk and down the steps. at one point he careens off a staircase and i fall out of the backseat and fall onto a step where the ledge gets steeper and i almost fall off. half my belonging land on the step behind me and i have to stradle in between to get them but i am shaking and losing my balance. i start to cry. ken and kathy are there then and ken collects my things for me and makes aq comment. everyone thinks im a wussy for crying. when we get to the hotel we go to a movie. we are here for a family reunion which is in my parents backyard on south street and all my friends are there. chanel is sitting by the old climbing tree and she beckons me over to talk to her. i say ill be there in a minute and maria and someone else sit down next to her and start singing out of tune. i go to get a drink and end up going back to the hotel. i start to feel drunk. at the hotel i am in the bathroom and anson is there. we talk about how he and my brother get alo0ng and he goes into the other room and starts talking to erik. he says i can hear in your voice how we are alike with our anger or something but its not anger and then my brother replies that its something that begins with a b. then they get in some sort of argument. i think my parents like anson. i keep checking the bird on my shoulder to see if its still alive. i still havent fed it and realize its been four days. sometimes i forget it is on my shoulder but it is always on my shoulder.