I am with Devon and maybe like at her wedding or Erin is there too or maybe we are on vacation and everyone loves Devon and Devon pays no attention to me. Then at some point I have my head on her lap and she is stroking my hair. I feel bad about myself again and remember feeling very fat and heavy and upset with how Devon feels about me.

Beth has gotten a job and I ask her what it is. She tells me its at a restaurant that serves only corn and everyone else who works there isn't very reliable so she has gone up the ranks and become the manager of the corn place. She is very happy to have the job when I speak to her. It is a new themed restaurant-ish. I go to have a corn on the cob at the restaurant and it is in a mall. It is mostly all different flavors/styles of corn but there is also a sort of bean burrito thing and a few other non-corn items. It reminds me of a taco bell sort of only for corn on the cob instead of mexican food. Things start happening at thee mall that take me away from the corn and I don't think I actually get to eat any. I definitely see Beth though and go inside the corn restaurant.

right before i wake up i am dreaming of a preist masturbating while explaining how he does this everytime he gets the urge and listing all the different places that he does it and saying how he does it in the church. He sort of seems like Ricky Gervais on the Ricky Gervais show when he is pretending to be a sick guy to Karl

night before Ricky's birthday

I dream I am living with Ricky but I am also living with Shannon Murphy and maybe Lindsay and maybe some other people. I almost feel like we are in Charleston. Ricky comes in and it seems like I haven't known him as long as I have in real life but like he's been taking care of me. He comes over to me holding a key and sort of sadistically breaks up with me and tells me he's had the plan to do this the entire time and who he was before was no longer and that he's done it before and thats why he brought the key. He is cruel but more just cold and like a completely different person and I get hysterically upset not so much because of him breaking up with me but more so I am in shock and horrified about how hard he tricks me and how I believed who he was the whole time he was faking it. Hard to wake up from this dream and it was very very real seeming. I also was up very late and didn't get to sleep long.

Erin comes over to the apartment on Winfield street to announce how she is going to New York. Uncle Andy is there and I think my mom is there. I'm not sure how I feel but I am trying to act positively. She comes into the kitchen and shows me her hair and it is cut in a crew cut like for the military and I realize she is somehow going to the military for a moment. Then she lets her hair go and her hair is long and its because the military yhaircut is only underneath her other hair or something and so it all gets covered up by the other hair and I feel upset.

I hanging out with Howard Stern and his wife Beth at like a Barnes and Noble or something. HOWARD AND i have met before and it seems like we are friends but I am trying really hard to impress him in our conversation and I'M ON A ROLL. HE has his hair pulled back in a ponytail and is wearing black Havianna flip flops. He mentions them self-consciously and I tell him I have the same ones and I also felt odd about wearing them. He seems very calm but shy and a little self-conscious, a lot like Cliff Peacock. Beth is very giggly and enthusiastic and sweet, she kind of reminds me of Kennedy. She makes a mistake trying to talk about a dietary supplement or something, something like midor but I think it ends in a D, whatever it is I know what she is trying to say but the word she actually says is the word for something else but I don't think they were real words, I just knew what they meant. And Howard realized the mistake and was like Babe, midor!? midor!? And kind of got after her on it but in a sort of disbeleiving way and not in a cruel kind of way and she didn't get defensive at all. I thought she was maybe a very intelligent woman and felt like maybe she simplified that part of her for HOWARD. During our convo I started to realize Howard was sort of my mentor and then I think I imagined being on the show with him, and imagined what it was like when he had Beth on the show. I started talking about how I didn't have an outlet for my creativity and got the feeling Howard was going to offer me some kind of position...maybe that was when I started imagining the other situations. For some reason I felt like I needed to get on the ferry. I knew we were in Boston...or I had just gotten off the ferry.