GO TO THIS RANDOM building that thre's a group art show at and I have apiece of art there and forgot we put the art up there over a year ago... ricky antonellis has something to do with the place but hes not threre and i cant find out about him.... dave tree supposed to be involved also but hes also not there....

dave tree ends up coming the next day and saying he forgot.... the building is almost like the south shore science center...

next to the building is a horse place with a riding ring like a track with metal fences seperating the track from the middle part and in the middle there are buffalos running around (at first we think they are gorillas)

they do some kind of theatrical show with the horses and people in costumes and the buffalos... i am talking to the woman who runs thinks... wanting to ride a horse

everybody is standing out by the side of the road for some reason


then i go to huntersbrook stables and walk into the pastures and lay on the back of one horse and am stroking another white horse

singing some kind of song

no one is around but wjen i get off and start walking up toward the house i see gina coming down from her house out to the barn

and she is excited and happy to see me and tells me how she used to write songs that way with the horses (and im thinking of how i didnt realize gina wrote songs and then i rationalize oh she has to write songs for the horse shows)

and theres all these children around and gina is saying to come here how shes doing so much fun stuff (and i want to ask about being an exercise rider and i want to ask where is dj) and shes sayin g how she was going to have wine with lunch but couldnt find a bottle open er...

and then she is tsalkin g to some children and a little boy with a brown unicorn figurine comes up to me and shows me the unicorn and we talk about whether it is a unicorn or not and i figure that it is and he tells me about 'my traveling horse adventures' which is some kind of series i guess

and gina is talking to other kids so i dont ask her my questions .

FROM THE PAST WEEK

SEE HOWARD STERN IN A ALMOST MINIVAN SIZE JEEP WITH A BIG BIRD HEAD IN IT AND DRUMS, AN OPEN BACK AREA AND I CAN SEE THROUGH THE WINDOWS ALL THIS COSTUME /PROP STUFF LIKE DISGUISES FOR HOWARD I GUESS AND HE IS SLUMPED DOWN IN THE PASSENGER SEAT AND BETH O IS DRIVING THE CAR AND I AM REMEMBERING KKK TELLING ME THIS IS HOW HE GETS AROUND OR THAT HE WEARS DISGUISES AND THIS IS IN CAMBRIDGE NEAR HARVARD SQUARE

THANKSGIVING HAPPENS AT OUR HOUSE AND KEITH IS THERE AND BRANDON IS A BABAY AND THERE ARE ALL THESE PUPPIES LIKE LITTLE GOLDEN RETRIEVER PUPPIES... THEN THANKSGIVING IS OVER AND MY ASIAN LADY THERAPIST IS LIVING IN THE HOUSE AND SHE HAS TWO CHILDREN THAT SEEM LIKE STRANGERS TO HER THAT SHE DOESNT QUITE KNOW HOW TO CARE FOR IT SEEMS AND I AM THERE KIND OF LIKE AN AU PAIR OR SOMETHING AND PUTTING THE KIDS TO BED AND THEN WATCHING A.L.T. ALONE AT THE KITCHEN TABLE LIKE SHES NOT QUITE SURE WHAT TO DO , THERE IS A SOUND IN THE KITCHEN AND SHE ASKS ME WHAT IT IS AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL WHICH HAS SOMEHOW BEEN LEFT RUNNING....

SEND UNDERWEAR (EMBARRASSING NOT SEXY) AND A PACKAGE WRAPPED IN NEWSPAPER TO UNBLEACHD SOMEHOW AND AM WATCHING HIM GET IT FROM AN OMNISCIENT NON PRESENT PERSPECTIVE AND HE TAKES THE UNDERWEAR AND PUTS IT ON OVER HIS JEANS AND THEN JUST STANDS THERE AND SMILES LIKE A WEIRDO

last weds 7/10/2019

1.

$300 dollars on wilco tickets and somebody and maddy weaver were supposed to go with me

and something happens to where we arent even in the same city as the wilco concert the night of the show

and i am pissed and cheap even in my dream

furious that i spent $300 on these tickets and we arent even going to make the show

and pissed at maddy, really upset with her

(***and i sleeep all day in this dream like its a real life event)

2.

walking into this place like a warehouse made into some kind of art event /gala

something supposed to be emf i guess and some kind of grand opening / event

all white walls/ white lights/ big open spaces

i am walking in and notice queen latifah is walking in also and i kind of walk up close behind her like to talk to her or kind of walk in together and she kind of sees me kind of snubs me , kind of walks faster to get in ahead of me, walk in alone

(****seems related / a dream shortly after my dream in nyc of john goodman hamming it up in the tent / where i left my phone charger in the wall and then did the same thing irl****)

walk into an outdoor cement area like the area outside the merrimack college gymnasium where we set up their graduation stage/lights...

rick st. denis is standing there and he has long flowing wavy dark hair, like a softer more flaxen howard stern hairdo...

i guess i know i am here to meet him but it feels like a suprise/ i am nervous / have trepidation about it

he takes me to some hotel room and tells me to get into the bed that i have to that he has to do something to me and i do it ( not against my will)

theres some kind of fantasy or thing hes saying as we have sex (almost like there is someone else there or involved)

and his penis is large, very big, and i never see it only feel it and somehow i know/feel that it is rounded off at the end, like it doesnt have the whole head part , like  a sawed off shotgun

(****the night before this irl i heard a live version of someone(?0 hav to look up) singing a song called you made me a woman i think about the first time a woman makes love and the lyrics came from her diary and shes talking on stage about it and i was thinking how bad my first time was and maybe this was some cosmic dream gift because the sex was good

right afterward rick gets up and leaves and goes somewhere and i want to keep having sex but when he comes back he wants to go the food court and i dont want to go to the food court and i am thinking about being direct and commanding the way he was with me vs. going to the food court where i fear he is going to get food and then pass out but this doesnt play through

living in or visiting some strange apartment in nyc with sid and curtis is there and there are two beds in a room and its a dark room and almost like a hotel.

leave the room like im leaving or i have to leave nyc and run into frankazoid and he takes me to some margarita bar mexican place that is very familiar like a place we all go and there is an older lady who works there and a younger girl with a high ponytail bun who works there like she is the waitress but there is a clear box where food and shots go out on the bar and whenever this happens the girl sticks her whole head in the clear box and almost licks everything-

they serve shots in shot glasses with an egg in the glass--- something happens

and frankazoid must be drunk and fights someone or throws something and the woman turns to me and says 'its your fault'

and i think i protest but i dont know what i say

but we start talking and things ease over somehow and she brings us to the back to show us the kale her daughter has grown in a back closet and the kale is small and growing like ivy

her daughter is the waitress who licks the food it turns out and now she is sitting behind the counter with an egg shot (clear liquid)

///

i am sitting behind the glass in some kind of store front and looking out and a group walks by and will is in the group and i start knocking on the glass to get his attention and he says jessie and he says the person i gave all my love to

///

my legs are numb and asleep all while im trying to walk and it wont go away


///

in a foreign country , somewhere like amsterdam, on a bus, like i took a ship , got there somehow, but running out of money and worried abut running out of pot vaporizer pen

and then somewhere and expected to perform and unloading somehow but i dont have a car, getting ready to perform at the venue, wondering when i will run out of money

why im not worried, what will i do, how i got there 

GO TO WORK at some event for pro event and chris canfield is there and he has long hair and hes kind of bigger but still v attractive and i came there with someone else and im not actually doing any work

my body feels heavy and hard to move throughout

we're in a dark upstairs room at some place and the event is like a show or wrestling or something  v low rent speakeasy type thing and no stagehands are actually needed for anything

there is a long booth connected to the wall on one side and we are over there and i touch chris leg and he kind of touches me v casual v wordless

but someone else is there maybe anthony and i overhear him saying chris and his gf broke up

i tell my friend he lives in upton and chris looks over at me then and says something (even tho in real life he doesnt live in upton...lars does... he lives in haverhill)

i get his phone number and we text

                                                                         ***\

then i am at the merritts and i guess harry lives in a trailer in the back yard, we are at the merritts house in norwell , sephie is there and parker is still very little

but he has a bald spot right on the back of his head, big poofy hair but a hole in the middle where i can see his scalp which is very red, he is brushing something when i notice

they are talking about smoking pot as i am leaving but its in harrys trailer and a metal pipe made out of real pipes and i am leaving

                                                                      ***

i am trying to meet up with chris somehow but there is so much going on and my body is so hard to work with

start traveling to this mcdonalds where when we get there you go inside and get to where the mcdonalds is and then you have to free fall down a stair case with no stairs to get to the mcdonalds and its scary and your whole body feels like jello, it doesnt hurt exactly, but is almost worse than hurting

helen and kate are working at the mcdonalds and talking about how it feels to be hired finally like they were working there freelance
                                     
                                                                         ***
im\at my parents house and erik is there and im starting to get sick and i know i am going to get really sick its a throat thing and its bad cuz i cant get erik sick