october 12th (night of andrew bird and the eic lesbian come-on --sophia)

i am at a school in paris and im pretty sure everyone is a lesbian it is an all girls college sort type deal i am good friends with rachel hardy but eliza is there and she hates me apparently i go outside and talk to rachel hardy and when i come back inside eliza said she asked for the extra room in my flat and her friend in the other room so we will all be living together in a suite it occurs to me that eliza is a skilled manipulator and she is going to try to do some crazy shit to me-- i am only sort of worried about this,-art of me likes the idea of being hated then i am in my parents kitchen (but still at the school in paris) and maria and someone else have ordered izza and it is taking forver to get her, i realize i cant eat it and think about ordering a cheeseless pizza and then think maybe i can make it instead and then alex calls me and is trying to get me to order her a pizza even thought she already had a pizza and i ask her what she is doing and she says she is drinking with her parents and watching movies and wants to eat a lot of pizzas because shes not going out tonight and shes with her parents, i say that she should eat more regularly at night and she says i know but i havent eaten all week, edit-- i also remember a oint where chelsea and will are arguing over who i have left my leftover oatmeal to in my will or who i will leave it to

October 10th 2009

I meet a young sexy latin man and we have to slit u but i tell him to come and leave a note in the chainlink of my fence and attach it there with broken glass the next day i wake u late but see the glass there and then run into him i am wearing a towel and execting my mother to come home from vacation we start kissing and its real real great, i try not to let on how great, but clearly we are both in love by this moment- my brother is in the house and i go ustairs and my father is in his office on a conference call- for some reason the boy hides in my room he uts on two airs of shorts one is urle

October 9th 2009

it is a collection of girls i have known, lindsay bohan, kathleen, kramer, kiely turgeon, meghann cannon-- lindsay bohan and meghann cannon are the most clear we are working in this factory] store where we suosedly get aid 10 dollars an hour and are allowed to drink-- this seems cool at first but the owners end u being real assholes who boss us around and everytime i leave the aisle where i am restocking ackets of candy in order to go to the bathroom or get something to eat they yell at me in a langhuage i cant understand and laugh and lindsay tells me we have to look busy, i follow her around when i dont know what to do and eventually we are outside in a vacuum like sace and there is a big ball of eole that flooats around in the air and we have to grab on to one of the eoles limbs in order to climb on, at one oint too many of us try at once and roll off, but we eventually get on

October 7th 2009 (Tory Campbell's 22nd birthday)

AT firts i am bike riding to a little blue house at the end of a culdesac in the woods somewhere, but the street leading there is paved and has rollercoaster like hills, the house i think is alex's mom's house, first i get there and then i am bike riding again, but this time when i go over the hills i have a strange feeling as if i'm flying. it is as if i have discovered something truly unique and special, like a super power. i try to call alex and tell her about this and tell her she needs to bike down the hills, then i realize i have slept through the whole day and missed class and i am alone in my apartment in paris, but i think it is alexs apartment and i can see the builiding that will lives in from out of the window. i had thought that the builidng will lived in was the largest building in paris but it is tiny from this view, i tell alex that on the phone and they both laugh at me idiocy. she says they have been up all day and to come over. i feel sad and overwhelemed for some reason, the city seems huge and insurmountable. when i wake up i am glad to be awake and not in the dream, however i realize i have slept until 4 and missed class, and stepping outside, someone has stolen my bike.

0cotber 4th 2009

Matt and I have broken up, there is a party and he is acting really angry. I guess it is my party, it is after Nathan Durfee's show, and Anson shows up with some guys from a 'gang.' They are three black dudes in red vinyl track jackets who I've never met before. They are going to do something at the party. I go out to the top of the driveway, I am trying to get Matt and them to leave. Nathan Durfee is there in his suit from the show. We do a little dance. He is oblivious to all that is going on and is very cute. He waltzes me a little before being taken away in a car.

October 3rd 2009

I am in some weird class with Teresa Acton, my parents next door neighbor, and Shelley Smith, it is something to do with clothes and she is trying to reassure me. I think Shelley is dating Tom Quinn and they are discussing how great he is. Before this I am caught under a train and every time a car comes by I shake my feet so they see me and switch lanes or else they will run me over. I feel extremely claustrophobic. At one point there is some kind of party where entire wardrobes are being raffled off by decade (50's 60's, 70's, etc) I keep looking at my ticket numbers but the person keeps calling out first names and I realize I was supposed to write my name down but didn't and I don't win anything although seemingly everyone else does.

octobver 1st 2009

I had to go to Tony Varallo's office to turn in my paper after class, for some reason I go back there later and he is sitting outside his office door in the hallway, a printer is printing out the papers with grades on them, a paper with A+ on it is coming out of the printer as i step in. I say why are you out in the hallway? but then i notice he has his desk and everything set up out there and since he shares an office with his wife, he has been kicked out and i9s trying to pretend the hallway is his office, I feel bad for saying anything and I wonder if I got the A+.