i had a bunch of 10 minute semi lucid dreams this morning and now i can't remember them!

it is sort of like we are all going to italy but my mother is there. we are on a boat for a long time getting there. in italy my brother and i have to go on a trip with my mom one day when everyone else is just hanging out. the night before that i couldnt sleep and was watching movies in a basement and my brother was upstairs. we get on a ferry boat to go to what people keep calling naples but isnt and which we dont really know the name of. either on the boat or when we get there i see justin swilling who is also on the trip i guess but lives in his own basement apartment with his girlfriend peirlouise. somehwo i go over there and he keeps staring at me the whole way wide eyed like he does. at the house we are on the couch and we make out because no one is there. we sortof have sex for aminute. i say that we shouldnt be doing this but justin says because of certain restrictions and agreements it is really ok. then people come over and one is pierlouise. she has blond hair and is a little chubby and narcoleptic. she keeps falling down. I decide to leave because it makes me nervous and i need to catch the ferry back and i try to grab all of my stuff. there is a trunk by the couch full of shoes and i grab two pairs that look like shoes ive had but each one is broken at the heel and also a different kind of shoe. they are both black boots but one is tall and one is short. Justin walks with me. He wants to keep a little c`d with a robot/machine on it. on the ferry back there are a lot more people from the italy trip there. also my mother has been mean and cranky this whole dream and so i have tried to avoid her most of the time. at one point we are on the street looking down into a small office where a man is sitting on what looks like the ledge of another giant tv and looking into a smaller one below him. there is another guyg working in the corner. the front of the building is open and we are sitting at an outdoor table. i wonder who works here and why and for who.

i am with some group being led by a woman, i think maybe it is all girls. first we are having an art show and all my artwork comes out shitty and has the worst spot in the show and no one buys any of it. i start to feel really bad. then we are having a singing recital and i don't get any solos and all my songs suck. i'm not sure when i start crying but i do. then during the recital i am trying to sing my one part in the chorus and i've lost the pages and can't remember the words. i feel like a failure at everything and am real upset and no one else is. what a sad dream i've had!

i am sleeping at anson's and i dream he and i and megan are all hanging out in his room. it is after everything has happened but some time ha passed. we are sitting on the floor and megan is saying how she has a new boyfriend but she doesn't know if she'll ever get over anson. she is trying to flirt with him and only trying to veil it very flimsily. i am watching anson and he doen't act openly into it but i can tell he is into it. i start to wonder if they even notice that i am there. i don't or can't say anything. i try to act like i'm cool with it.

i dream that me and anson are in his bed and have just had sex and are both naked. then will comes in and and sits down and me and him have sex. i sortof forget that anson is still there and i sortof dont notice we're having sex and think maybe no one else is noticing. then afterwards i feel bad and sit down in the room and start talking to anson. will sits up and keeps falling asleep and snoring. anson says something about how he has timing like me and i say yeah like fucking retarted and i mean it affectionately but will wakes up and has just heard me talking about him and doesnt get how i meant it.

first i am at some sort of writing ommune with carol ann who is dating a guy younger than me who is also there. a bunch of other writer kids are there too and me and carol ann are friends and no one thinks its wierd that she is dating this young guy but i worry about what would happen if he broke up with her. she seems to care about him a lot in a kind of motherly way but also like she depends on him. i remember garret and the kids halfway through and wonder what happened to them. the commune is on an island off of charleston and when i am walking around i find anson there. he says he has flown into the island. i meet him by the rocks and i am glad he has come there. at some point i realize i have a child and it seems like i've just had the child but it looks like me as a toddler and has bob-length blonde hair. i keep forgetting i have the child though and later on i realize i have a child and i am 22 and i hope that maybe i wont have to take care of it anymore. the writing commune turns more into an art thing then and i think about how much i paid for the application so i think maybe its supposed to be the 3rd ward residency. john hull is there and i have a wall of space to work on. first i am trying to write a paper on picasso but i cant finish it. then i am working on the wall when maria comes in and tells me the paper is due soon. john hull is there and talks to me about the work. i ask him what a goup of paintings of cartoony looking skulls are and he says who do you think they are the only person who makes those. and i know i know who the girl is but i cant remember her name and he tells me its diana and that she hardly ever gets any work done because she is always tripping. she tripped her whole last semester.

dream 3rd night back from italy

i dream i am watching my father and his brothers as young boys on a home video tape. there is a little girl too which i think is his sister but she couldnt be that young then and maybe is another girl. i can tell who they are by their faces. uncle kenny looks just like himself. my father looks a lot like my brother. he is throwing a sort of tantrum. something has happened and he is upset about it and inconsolable. no one else is. i think this somehow helps me understand my brother. i don’t remember exactly what was happening.