tuesday december 29th

when i first wake up i have just nearly cartwheeled off a ledge but balance my weight juts enough to pull myself back onto the roof. i may be in paris. it is me, kelsey snyder and maybe maria. we are trying to get ourselves and our stuff t the third floor without dying but the elevator is old and unreliable and closes very fast. it keeps closing on one of us or not going up all the way and it is very easy to fall down the elevator shaft. before we thought we were stuck in the elevator but then we had gotten out before i tried to just take the elevator up anyway and almost fell off the roof.

wednesday december 23rd 2009

it is time for finals. i am with monica. i am afriad i am going to fail history. i think john hull teaches my history class or is in charge of my grade. the finals are all in hugerooms like gymnasiums. there are paper lists on the wall that have a drawing of a eye and whether or not you have to take the final. i see my name and it says something about giving me a bad look. i think that maybe this means that ive failed. i leave and dont take the final. i run into jarod charsewski. there are discount packages of cookies, maybe pepperidge farm, ginger cookies, they have a milk ingrediet. later we are starving and monica eats them and i am going to eat them even though they have a milk ingredient.

(while writing this dream i remember the dream i had once where we were in the woods, in a sleigh or something almost like the festival of lights. there were deers and horses.)

tuesday december 22nd 2009

i am at will paige and chelseas house. i find a hole in the bottom of my foot like a nail went through it. in the hole i find a millipede like worm. i shake it out and it is translucent and has lights in it. first it sqiggles around and then it blows up into a ball and flashes purple lights then goes back to a millipede and then flys off into the bathroom where i assume it goes into the toilet and is going to infect someone else. in the hole in the bottom of my foot there are what look like little tails and i assume they are millipede/ worm eggs. i shake them out. we have just finished exams or something.

dream digression- before sculpture final/ december

i dream that i make this piano thing. it is like half piano/half table and there is glass, maybe it is partly made of metal. it sits in this building like a townhouse apartment or something and floor to ceiling windows all around it. it is black red, white- the three most powerful colors. then it is suspended in the air, sort of like i am the piano-table but not really. it is on top of the buildings and i have to try to keep it from falling into the ocean (with my mind?) i lose it though and it falls int the ocean and then i am the one who is floating on top of the buildings and i have to try to keep myself from falling. there is something pulling and pushing me, like fear or gravity. i mess up and fall off the building but right then i realize i am dreaming so its ok. once i realize im dreaming i float back up to the tops of the buildings and not falling is more like a game and less like life or death.

december 17th 2009 (first night home winter break)

i am wearing some kind of strawberry detailed maroonish shirt. i feel fat. i think john says i've gotten chubby. (this morning i go to spinning with dad/ start health plan> no-dream)

dream digression- 11- 24- 09

i am with two girls, maria thinks they are cool girls, but i think they are prats-- it is like we are going to prom but we are going to a wedding- i am wearing a huge wedding dress and when i get there everyone is wearing a wedding dress, i immediately get ushered into a swarm of brides and we are going to run a marathon first, i run the marathon and break the tape and a man tells me i won, i won the whole thing and i keep asking him - really- and finally he says no, but you did ok, you can go again

dream digression october\november 2009

(nane is dying) first i am on a trip with kennedy, we go to a shack in the woods where some girls who used to be her friends are, they expect her to have drugs but she doesnt, they are all fucked up and mean to us, we decide to leave and i say i will drive, we drive away and it is beautiful, the landscape keeps changing, it is a long drive